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Going crazy

Vic1New Contributor01 Jan 2018, 6:55 pm AEDT

Going crazy

Hi, my de facto of 17 years announced he could not cope with my bouts of depression anymore even though I was having them less due to new meds, counselling. It has been 8 weeks since he left and Christmas and new year were very hard for me without him, even though he said I was his” emotional punching bag” I miss him terribly, he was once very supportive but something radically changed and now he says he had no emotion for me anymore. I have had to up my meds dose to get me through the day, I feel I’m not coping at all and cry often, some days I’m stronger than others where I will convince myself I’m better off without him and in time I know I’ll feel better but most days I cry and miss him terribly, I know it’s a process, does anyone have any suggestions to get me through this tough time
Thanks!

3 replies

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In response to: Going crazy

AppleblossomSenior Contributor01 Jan 2018, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Going crazy

Break ups are hard no matter what @Vic1 You were together a long time.

Are there any things you like to do or like the idea of doing. I find having activities I enjoy the miost helpful.

In response to: Going crazy

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor04 Jan 2018, 8:41 am AEDT

Re: Going crazy

@Vict My sister is in a wonderful married relationship but before him, she was married to an alcoholic abuser. She left him but between the alcoholic and her wonderful now husband, there were a a couple which let her down terribly. She felt betrayed and let down, depressed and constant crying. I gave her this piece of advice and she took it and it worked for her.

For every moment you spend thinking about him, you are taking away from thinking about the great future love of your life. Why would you rob the man who loves you deeply and will always be there for you, for a man who showed himself to be weak when the going got tough. If he had had a stroke or heart problems, you would have stuck by him, but he didn't value you, the way you valued him...and yet, you're going to waste precious thoughts on him and risk your recovery and future happiness with a real man. Please take it as a life lesson. You now know what kind of person you should not let into your life and start a diary with all the things you do want. Get yourself some magazines and start cutting out images of what you would like to be like and what kind of person you want in your life...the ideal life. They are called vision boards...it helps you focus on what is important and you want. It's time to start a plan and you. Good luck.

In response to: Re: Going crazy

Unknown userMember04 Jan 2018, 11:15 am AEDT

Re: Going crazy

Hi @Vic1

It’s an incredible difficult blow to our mental health when a relationship ends, particularly after such a long and previously supportive relationship such as yours.

It’s almost too hard to say this, but a lot of the time it’s just time that ends the pain. Soemtimes you don’t even realise it has started going away. It’s a difficult time of year too, so don’t underestimate the impact that holidays and Christmas time has on people’s loneliness

It’s great to hear that sometimes you don’t feel as bad anymore. It’s so important to know the diffierence between good and bad days. Everyone has them, and it could be a sign that our health is improving, slowly but surely. I liked reading this blog entry to support when I’m feeling pretty low, or to give me some new ideas of things to try.

It’s so hard, but I have faith you can get through this. All the usual helplines apply too I hope you know. Sometimes people use them a lot for a short period while they are adjusting to different kind of life like you are right now. I also hope your counsellor can help get you through too.

Feel free to peruse through the forums for supportive spaces, or even things to distract you with. I enjoy looking through this thread and people just talk about what they want to do each day to get though

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