That sounds like a lovely birthday tradition you and your friends have @PeppiPatty (and that is a very pretty gift! Looks like a Moonstone maybe?). One of my friends has a 'Birthday Buffet' where he schedules out a full day of his favorite activities and lets everyone know when and where he will be all day and people can just turn up and join in with whichever bit is convenient or preferred.That's pretty cool too.
Hmmm I guess I don't know if Mum would have been open to talking about the sibling rivalry and acceptance stuff or any of it really - we never did, though i think she tried a couple of times I was pretty closed off by that point. I was never willing to discuss things within my family, and mum died nearly 10 years ago now. I always felt so responsible for my mum, her life was so hard and I just didn't want to bring her more pain or trouble (but inevitably did), and could never handle talking about 'emotional' stuff or stuff where people would get emotional at me, I preferred to just deal with it on my own.
As an adult now I can see that I was not responsible for her choices or how her life turned out, and that as a child I was doing the best that I knew how to do - so I don't blame myself so much anymore, though I am still sad that her life was so difficult. I find it fascinating and ironic that children feel SO protective of and responsible for their parents well eing, and it is not until you are an adult that you realise what an incredibly disproportional task that is for a child to take on.
I get an incredible amount of support from my husband, and I had never known before how much unconditional support was healing all on its own. It gives you the strength to be. To explore, to learn and to try and even fail without fear that the support and love will be withdrawn. I don't think it is possible to over emphasise how important that is in making you feel safe and strong, supported and independant all at the same time.
You are not seomone who I would consider anything but full of nature and a .......I dunno...like.....your home is full...
I think I know what you mean, or at least I get the feeling of it, and I take it as a huge compliment 
The sibling rivalry is so very interesting. In my family my father was generally feared and disliked, yet I was 'daddy's favorite' and always being told I was 'so like your father' (well aware that this was emphasised whenever I was showing negative traits). I was desperate for my mum to approve of me more even though I knew she did love me. My brother was far and away her favorite - her first born and also she was trying to compensate for how unfair on him my dad was. I saw the justice of that, but it was very hard to alwasy be second best, especially under the circumstances that developed later.
These days my mum is dead, and my brother is much... well I hesitate to say closer, but in much more contact with my dad than I am. They continue to have a very antagonistic relationship, and my brother continues to desperately try to prove his worth and win my father's love - I think Dad does love him but is unable to show it in a way my brother can recieve and vice versa. It's like they each have tailor made blinders on where each other is concerned.
It is interesting as Dad has gotten older he has become rather emotional and 'soppy' which I simply find uncomfortable, and my brother has very strong eratic reactions to.
I basically don't have much to do with either of them anymore and am much more distant and frank about things, not emotional at all. I don't argue with him (dad) about things because I don't really care. I don't get offended because I don't really care. If he does something that bothers me I tell him about it, and he processes that and makes changes... as a result we get along rather well, while my brother works himself up into rages of frustration during the same conversations because dad won't take his advice, or agree with a point he is making, or acknowledge all that my brother does for him.
I accepted long ago that Dad was a bottomless pit where money was concerned and told him flat out not to ask for or hint for any more from me as it made me want to avoid him. It has NEVER been raised since and has never been a problem since, meanwhile my brother is constantly buying him things and then getting offended when dad sells them, or demands an upgrade, or complains about them.
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Anyhow...that is enough of my family history for now!!
