What do you do for "me" time?

Oh, that's easy !!

Coffee in a real coffee shop, all by myself with the daily newspaper crossword.

A walk along the river, earphones on with Richard Clayderman playing, or a mix of upbeat favourites.

Painting.

Visit a friend.

Get my nails painted by somebody else.

Plant something - anything at all.

Read a magazine.

Knock off a hit-list of run-around chores that have been left on the back burner, and land in the coffee shop with the crossword at the end of it.

Go gift-shopping for someone special with time to meander, not slap-dash-o-oh-gotta-grab-something-on-the-run-here.

Get my hair cut properly, not me and the bathroom scissors when I can't see past my fringe and there is somewhere we need to be and dressed up for.

Gift-shopping for something for me, cos I'm worth it and overlooked by my wayward honey in his fog of In-denial MI that is making him all about him all of the time.

I feel overwhelmed with my person's constant intense emotions and problems and find it very difficult to concentrate and so I often do sensory things over and over again like taking too many hot showers in a day

I don't know whether this is a good thing or not but I have become a tad addicted to Facebook. I shifted to Melbourne when my mother was in her 90s to help her etc. My son came with me so I was caring for both. Mum passed away and my son and I stayed in Melbourne. So I felt extremely alone because ALL my friends lived in Sydney and it costs too much to keep phoning to make contact. So now I'm able to be in daily contact with them via Facebook, which I love. But I'm afraid I am a bit addicted and sit at the computer for hours at night when I'm no longer actively caring for my son.Does anyone else spend a lot of time on Facebook?

Hi @Jo @querentxyz

I struggle to call these things being "addicted", perhaps because this is my outlook .....

Our time is ours to manage, along with every other aspect of ourselves, and how we choose to use it is up to us. If we don't find and maintain a balance, there are natural consequences that follow through, if course, so if we choose to spend our time on Facebook, or one these forums, or out with friends in pubs or clubs, or joining a lot of different social groups like gyms, bookclubs, knitters circle, cooking classes, whatever, it is, at its core, just using our time as we see fit.

To refer to something as an addiction (and I am sure one or more of the mods will step in here if they think I could use a bit of a tweak re the definition 😊) I would presume that it is referring to a behaviour that has -

a) become a dependency that you are not able to break free from

b) become so consuming of your thoughts that it is invasive to managing your life skills and commitments

c) become so all-consuming as to be detrimental to your "real life" relationships

I put this last one into inverted comas because online relationships can be as real as any other. Many people are isolated within their homes for a variety of reasons. Online communication is a point of contact with the wider world for them, in much the same way Flying Doctors or the old School of the Air kept families in remote parts of Australia linked to their communities across very wide expanses of territory.

So to test whether you feel you are addicted to something, see what the effect is on you if you choose to take a break from it and do something else instead .......

@querentxyz - can you develop a list of go-to things you can turn to as well as the hot showers ? Maybe music to listen to, a magazine to read (libraries loans these out along with books, so you don't have to buy them), crosswords or other puzzles, which you can also find online .....

@Jo - you can always start to split the Facebook time with something else, like joining a class, or doing a jigsaw puzzle (large one that takes months) and music on the radio in the background, even setting the timer to help you stick to the boundary.

🌷

Thanks Faith and Hope. Yes, I'm probably not 'addicted' according to the true sense of the word. But I do look forward to contacting my friends in Sydney via Facebook in those hours I can grab for myself. Also, these forums are perfect for contacting others experiencing the same issues. I believe online places such as the SANE forums provide enormous support to others 'in the same boat'. It helps us to realise that we are not alone. And it also helps to be able to share controversial issues confined to those caring for a loved one living with mental illness. This must be amplified 100% for those living in remote regional areas and on Aboriginal reservations.

Absolutely @Jo, and I am stunned at the number of strong, compassionate, resilient people I have been honoured to encounter here .......

💜

I have a problem of drowning in all the problems that are flooding around me, and I lose my self. So for me, "me time" means to do things that nourish myself and stop it from getting lost in the problems. For me this is a question of, "who am I?"

For me I think that the main thing about my self is reading, to keep learning and give my mind ideas to chew on. Then I will see where the ideas take me, and maybe write some of them down or do some drawings, and that makes me even more sure of who I am.

I also need enriching sensory activities, like listening to a famous pop or rock music album and reading good quality articles about it at the same time. And fun stuff like going for walks and noticing nature. And I really need exercise!

That sounds like a lot. I think it's a matter of making little bits integrated into daily life. It's like how you have to water a plant, you have to make sure it keeps getting SOME water, even a little bit at a time.

@Shaz51

Hey remember me? My name is PeppyPatti or Anne.....I really like that game. I also buy Take 5 and Thats life magazine.

I'm Really into self care.....I learnt it when my youngest son was very ill.

It's almost like a daily focus though because it's really hard to pick it up if you put it down....

Hey hey @PeppiPatty

Thank you my friend , I need reminders from time to time xx

yes, I have to be strong , and you all help me

Hello everyone

I was talking to my mum about this , and she said that I have been like that all my life

doing something for someone else all the time and forget myself

I thought about it and it is sooooo true , even if I do something for me -- it is really for someone else

so how do I change !!!!