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Tigga321Senior Contributor
Hello,
i am having very dark thoughts from sexual,physical and mental abuse, from childhood and marriage, I can't stop them, my mind just keeps remembering them,I'm not sleeping and all I'm doing is crying all day and night.
In response to: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Tigga321Senior Contributor
Hi,
I cried myself to sleep last night at least I got a couple of hours. My brother who sexually assaulted me from 12-15 is he suffering like me. No..my hubby passed away 4 years ago is he suffering for doing what he done to me..No...I'm left holding all the hurt and pain. It's so unfair.😢
In response to: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Tigga321Senior Contributor
Thank you so much,
I am sorry, I don't mean to be an annoyance, it's just that, I my parents and brother were so mean and treated me like I was there personal maid, I eloped at 18 to get away from them, my brother was still trying to sexually abuse me. The man I married was worse he used to yell, hit, call me every imaginable thing. he even brought men home for his so called "fun". I was stuck I had no where to go, hubby had this hold over me, I am stupid, I'm useless at living, you see hubby never let me out of his sight, when I needed to shop, he always came, he made me wear what he wanted me to wear, he had total control of my life. Now he is gone I don't know how to live, even if I want to any more, I'm sick of my horrid life constantly bombarding my thoughts, I need some peace.
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
candycaneSenior Contributor
Hi there @Tigga321 welcome to SANE. It looks like you are having a difficult time at the moment. I will send you a quick email to follow up.
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Tigga321Senior Contributor
Thank you. No email came through, but that's okay, These memories will be with me forever, I understand that, I just can't accept it that's ll. I held it all in for years from 13- 59..then something triggered me, I don't know what it was, but now 3 years I don't go outside my house anymore, people scare me, I can't talk to anyone they frighten me, I've been diagnosed with major anxiety/ depression/ ptds.. I have seen physiatrist once, physologist four times, they don't seem to helping,
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
You are not an annoyance at all @Tigga321 ..... we don’t choose our circumstances, and it can be extremely difficult to make good choices within them ..... or beyond them, as you say ....
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
LouLouMagooSenior Contributor
Hey @Tigga321 double check your spam folder as it might have been sent there.
It's great to hear that you are linked in with supports, remember only four session with your psychologist is still pretty early days. Give it a bit of time and be honest with them about your expectations of therapy 🙂
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Tigga321Senior Contributor
Hello,
So angry with me that I could let this happen, I held me together with so much violence now I'm on my own I can't hold me together, I don't understand why I am so useless, It's my brain yet it doesn't belong to me.
In response to: Dark thoughts scaring me.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Dark thoughts scaring me.
outlanderSenior Contributor
hi @Tigga321 i dont have much else to add to what everyone has written here but wanted to welcome you to the forums
also when talking to specific people if your on the computer type in the @ symbol and names will apear and you can click on those
if your on your phone youll have to write it manually just as ive written your name as well
sorry to hear its been a rough time for you. medication changes are really horrible esp when they take forever to work- a waiting game!
i dont have hubby but can empathise with you with the abuses, so can understand how this would be affecting you
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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