My Big Brother

Hi there

I need some help. A lot of advice. My brother has a mental health issue, it has been going on for many many years. He has refused help when we (me and my family) have tried to help or get him the help he has needed. He had a trauma when he was 17, and has never been the same. He has numerous relationships which never last due to him not being able to deal with things like an adult. He is literally sleeping in his car at the moment or couch surfing, I know it sounds horrible but we all have our own lives (me with children and I dont want him to stay as he drinks and gets abusive) and he is 42 years old. He drinks excessively which is another reason why his relationships dont work. When he drinks, his personality turns dramatically. He doesnt get responsibilty such as holding down a job, paying bills. He just spends his money on booze. Bills etc come last.

I too have suffered mental illness. Mainly depression. But I have dealt with it. Its still hard sometimes. I do believe there is a family history that maybe hasnt really been diagnosed. My sister also deals with anxiety and depression.

What I want to know is, how do I get my brother the help he needs. I know for a fact he will not come in willingly as I have tried and tried over the years. I want to know how I can get him admitted somewhere without his consent.

Yesterday he was threatening suicide. I had to go and find him. A few years back the same thing happened, and I called someone who advised me to call the police and if they found him they would take him to ED department and get him assessed and if they thought he was bad, basically he would get admitted unwillingly to a faciility. This I believe would be a great scenario for him. He might finally see he needs help. he may hate me, but Im sure it wont be forever. Is this the best scenario.

I might add too that Im his younger sister and I am scared of him. A few years back he was sending me threatening messages that really frightened me, so I changed my number and moved house. I was having nightmares etc. So it is not easy to deal with him. Yesterday I found him, held him while he cried, listened to him. But whenever I offered advice he would yell and get angry at me. Being on my own, was a little worried. I have children to think of, they come first.

Please can you give me some advice, my brother is getting to the point where it may be too late for him and I just dont want to sit back and watch. And my family are at their wits end, exhausted from it all.

Any advice or recommendations or just to chat with someone who is or has been in a similar situation would help.

Thank you