Lessons for the year

Great idea @Bunniekins

You've learned some good things this year

What on earth have I learned? - I should've taken notes

1. I contradicted my therapist - and that was good. I actually often did but this was the first time I said anything out loud - but alas - that was the last time I saw her - ah - she moved interstate

2. Getting lost in other cities is the best part of my holiday

3. Having a third arthroscopy on my knee was harder than the other two because I am older and have scar issue - that's why it hurt more

4. Troubles and stress seem to gang up and arrive at the same time - and of course this is a bother but it's normal

5. Like you - some people like my sister don't like me - I can't change it so I move on - we have that in common Greenpea and it doesn't diminish us unless we let it

6. My favourite - I found the mute button on my new remote control and can turn the sound of when those annoying ads come on

Maybe I could have learned some of these earlier but hey - I needed something other than academic facts to learn in my old age

Love it Greenpea

Dec

Hey @Owlunar OMG! couple of things came to me

1.' I contradicted my therapist - and that was good. I actually often did but this was the first time I said anything out loud - ...' I have never done this lol. I just sit there and think 'You don't know what you are talking about' I smile and say nothing lol. I should take a leaf out of your book and actually stand up and say something ... I don't know why I don't ...

2. 'Getting lost in other cities is the best part of my holiday' That took so much bravery to do that. I don't think I could cope with that right now. Even driving into places that I know stresses me out ...

3. Operation on your knee took real stamina and guts it is hard when you are getting older and as you said you have scar tissue which makes it all the more painful. Well done on coping with all of that.

4. Dealing with troubles and stresses as you say ganging up all at the same time is as I tell my kids Murphy's Law. No choice but to deal with it aye?

5. Our sisters ... it is a shame isn't it ...let's move on

6 You found the mute button!!!!! Go girl!!!!! Pesky ads!

That is do cool @Bunniekins - thanks for that

And getting lost in other cities - I don't even drive now - I walk everywhere and in three cities now I have had to get a taxi to take me back to what I know - or the hotel

I love the mute-button

Dec

Love this thread @Bunniekins and @Owlunar

Lessons I've learned this year:

• to identify and acknowledge and own and speak about my emotions and feelings
• to not feel guilty about reaching out for help when I'm in crisis mode, or even if I'm not in crisis mode
• to trust that my therapist and my support people at work aren't going to hurt me
• I am not a bad person (still working on that one)
• as I head toward 60, I'm invisible so can virtually do as I like and nobody cares (now that's liberating)
• to keep trying, no matter how hard that can be at times (still working on that one, too. Enough said.)
• that these forums are a safe place for me to chat or just vent.

@NatalieS beautiful NatalieS I always like hearing from you because in many ways you remind me of my mother, who was in a similar position to you. So I watched her cope like you are coping without a complaint just like my mother. In any event ... the 50s plus are liberating ... I will have a second piece of cake with double cream thank you very much!

Excellent @NatalieS - these are so great

I love some of these - not to feel guilty about reaching out for help when you are in crisis mode even when you are not -


Excellect - that is really good thinking - how come I never thought of that?

And you are not a bad person -

Of course you are not a bad person - I think we get this idea drummed into us when we were children - not good at all - in fact - one thing I learned was I didn't know right from wrong until I was told I was naughty unstead of getting a spanking - true


As you head toward 60 you have become invisible and can do what you like -

so you are invisible - that is so fantastic - I think I have become mute because so many people tell me what I was going to say and finish my sentences for me - hey - maybe the time has come to say what I like. I'm a bit older than you too - what a great idea for the future

Great lessons Nat

Dec

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@Bunniekins,thankyou lovely greenpea, my new friend Lil Bro, who just dropped out of the sky into my lap (well, who I met on the bus) 3 or 4 weeks ago as I think I've mentioned, arrived at the perfect time for me-Christmas time, which is difficult-but gives me a reason to care for someone else like a Big Sis does. And I tell him how excited I am to have a brother. He is battling a number of issues, as we all are, and he is so aware of personal space and is such good company. We have shared so much of our stories in such a short time and he makes me laugh, so catching up a couple of times a week for coffee and to talk for an hour or so benefits both of us. He is very kind and we are good for each other as we support each other (and both love chocolate and icecream). So another lesson I've learnt in a very short time is no matter the age difference, or what people think, he IS my brother, and as there's no sex involved (am I allowed to say that?) it truly is a meeting of the minds. Now I DO sound like a teenager in love!

PS: Yes please, to the cake and cream, but no thanks, I won't have sugar in my coffee

@Owlunar

Yes, those things drummed into our heads never go away.

@NatalieS it is so wonderful that you have met someone like that and yes even better it is a meeting of the minds ... goodness you never know where this could go though ... you must keep us up-to-date! you haven't mentioned if he is good looking ... anyways ...

No worries with the coffee I like my black and strong the European way.

@Bunniekins, this is going to sound so corny but when we were sitting on the bus together...I was in the middle of an anxiety attack, so just wanted to get out of town quickly, so I wasn't really in the present when Lil Bro started talking to me, which kind of brought me back to the present as we chit-chatted away, but one of the first impressions I got was that he understood personal space and trauma. And when we got to the bus interchange at the shopping centre, he said how nice it was to chat and would I like to join him for a cup of coffee. And when we sat down for coffee we kept chatting and I sensed/ noticed a gentleness and kindness there. He mentioned he would like to catch up another time so gave me his phone number and suggested I phone him if I wanted to . That night I texted him to thank him for cheering me up....and the rest is history. We both laugh that our meeting as we did was meant to be as we've both said we've never caught that numbered bus before. We've caught up a couple of times a week since then-today we've chatted and eaten chocolate and chatted some more-Bro's gone home to do some writing and I'm having some quiet time before hubby gets home. I keep telling Bro how excited I am to have him in my life as he just gets me. He says there's things he's told me that he hasn't shared with anyone but he knows I'm not a blab. As for looks, he's my Bro, so what can I say? Gotta go.