overwhelmed

hi all,

its been a while since i posted but everything is just getting a bit much everything i do lately seems to have a negative outcome. my partner is moving forward he got a good job and a lot of things are working out for him meanwhile i had to drop out of uni because it was too much trying to save money but things keep coming up i feel like im a bad mum because i cant do stuff for my son much at the moment i know i just got out of icu care but i cant stay awake for more then a few hours it makes me fear being left on my own with him, what if i fall asleep and something happens and i dont wake up i worry that he could hurt himself and ill just sleep through it. im trying to reconnect better with my family i use to be really close to my younger sibs but since moving in with my new house mate who they dont like we have drifted apart and my house mate whos suppose to be my best friend is really irritating me lately im rather clean but her son makes messes every where and she is like ill clean it later but never does i feel like im only there to look after her kid when she doesnt want to. my family dislikes her immensly but we cant afford to get our own place for a few more months. i feel like my mental health has gone haywire but feel like there is noone to talk to about it. i had a severe asthma attack almost ended up in a coma and all my mum could do when i got on the phone to her was complain that they thought my mother in law was my mother and didnt believe her. i cant talk to my mum about my mental health because she thinks that i had i good childhood despite the fact that she was drunk or high on drugs for most of my childhood doesnt even know about most of the trauma i went through. just not sure how too keep going without completly losing it