@heartathome " I can understand why addiction might be called idolatry, because it can become something I’ve turned to instead of God for comfort.
But I feel it’s important to hold this gently. For me, it was never about choosing something over God—it was about trying to cope with pain and overwhelm.
So I see it less as idolatry, and more as a place where I needed healing. And I believe God meets us there with compassion, not condemnation. 💚"
Yes i'm fully with you on that one!
However it became far more complicated for me later on in my life than jut managing pain. The first 7 or so years i no troubles it only served good. However then everything blew up me thinking i overcame the devil, for the evil voices had been gone so long, without realising at the time the meds had done so. Once i did it became an 'addiction' not just helping me cope with the pain, it also became an issue of how much, when, and when not for depression together with those horrible voices had me so miserable i did not want to ever be down again.
And so i developed using my meds a horrible addiction. Were inside my heart i had a demanding self which would use for cop out and feeling good, always far too much so that it would loose its effectiveness, and in this self i did not care about needing it in the future for medication, i would use until i ran out, and then end up psychotic in hospital for i had no meds, or use the wrongs ones when i needed the right ones most. (My first 10 or so major psychoses were all 'triggered' me struggling with the demander self within and running out of meds or using sharply and then in the nothing period i loose it.)
So i was in a real pickle. For, i tried psych medications for years, but i be rock bottom down, unable to process my thoughts any longer, and out of touch with my emotions, longing to die, often become manic depressed with evil voices pounding me 24/7. While on the meds i be fine and coping, even have really good times at times, and so i developed an insatiable hunger avoiding rather than supporting myself.
Through all kind of events, often the kindness of my wife and/or friends who knew it would help me, and made sure i still got some although i had squandered all heeding the demander. Especially after my wife understood what worked best, she and my son have been the most faithful backing me up, making sure i got more meds when i had run through my supplies once more, and they saw me taking off again. (For paradoxically i go high as kite when i stop, or run out, not sleeping, and then any trigger however small would have my fully blown psychotic unable to cope with the sudden massive emotional overload.
So in the end i went to Jesus deeply troubled and torn within with need and demand. So i bowed down in my greedy self' thanked Him for His covenant with us all about that, and kept thanking Him breaking me free from the need to not have depressed or raging/angry/upset periods, but rather stay with Him and learn to take life on like that. This is how is still use meds today. i have never run out again since i crowned Jesus King over my heart here. i have learned to NOT heed demand for more, or when i have no need mentally, and only use it when i need it and not much otherwise.
Nowadays my biggest struggle is not too much, but not using. i keep falling for that, especially when depressed. for then i need it most i do not really enjoy using it, near as much as the calming meds i have learned to use, but do not help when depressed.
i'm seeing a doctor on the 15th of this month to see if i can the prescription versions of the meds the way i need it when depressed, insomnia, pain, and anxiety and psychoses. for i know i do need different kinds meds but not sure if they got them.
So yes i fully agree mercy and grace for those who struggling coping with pain, be it physical, mentally or spiritual, is really important.
