@ENKELI Thanks for reaching out dear sister. Glad you did although i did not read it till today. i felt i better cool down a little and i been very busy building a rat trap for the snakes cannot keep up now my wife has so many chicken, fowl and geese. So far i have not court any. We used to have a rat trap but it could only catch one, if you were lucky, and it was hard to dispose of the rat afterwards. So i have been thinking out a new design and been building it. Hopefully i finish it today, and catch most of those vermin before Winter and food scarcity has them do major damage to our garden or worse our house.
@tyme i have to disagree with the mods here there is nothing shocking about depiction of a 2000 year old story EVERYONE knows about without any blood or gore. Neither forbidden image had blood or gore on it, one was a cartoon description of Jesus on the cross, apart of the crucifixion itself being gory then, yet i'm convinced that 2 minutes viewing channel nine news is likely to be 1000 times more gory.
@heartathome @Appleblossom @Realness
i'm going through a major change in my life ever since the merging of my last alter and the end of my rages. It is still kind of weird to live in harmony together. The strange part is that before i would often not be in touch with myself in my other others yet now this is no longer true, neither is there any animosity left towards myself within myself. Yet i can be drawn into opposite directions with regards to issues and decision making processes. Some friction at times, which usually leads to indecision rather than decision sop far. Not always clear how to find unity within myself, although so far harmony between myself within myself has remained.
i do still also get times i get angry, even badly so. Yet i do not rage at God, myself, other or satan any more, neither do i loose loose control. No voices, hallucinations, psychosis or anxious times either, although my mind can begin to race or i can depressed again from such inner turmoil.
Depression has been bad. Even very low compared to how i have been for the last three years. i have been so down reliving old memories being in my pit years ago. (Is this similar to reliving and re-determining trauma memories?) For i find that what kept me deep down 21-14 years ago, cannot do so anymore now, and i never agree with how i thought about God, myself or another in those days. Truly now i can easily see Jesus as my suffering life, valuable beyond description and the beloved of God, which i could not see/live in those times. So it has been been very much about meeting Jesus in my past 'lost' life the last 4 weeks. Amazing how much He has taught me through the book of Leviticus about how to let Him sanctify fallen hearts and find grace, forgiveness and fellowship with God through His sacrifice for us on the cross.
i'm 'scheming' a poem on the book Leviticus from a spiritual persepctive but i have not finished internalising the words of the bible book yet, so that might be some time before the words become clear and meaningful to others about that.
Hoping all of you have a blessed day.

