Christian Chat

@heartathome

He's been my pastor since the middle of October

I have experienced complex abuse by church leaders in the past

Then there was also an infant baptism with an anniversary coming up for me tomorrow

We had a new elder and deacon installed yesterday so the sermon was about their responsibilities.

And it hit me how badly mine failed.

But then also how God had chosen them to lead and care for his flock...

That God ordained my childhood church leaders to abuse me.

I did tell him as much in the email.

Oh and it's my dad's birthday tomorrow

@heartathome hey lovely, Monday has been good. I did my assessment for the module I'd just completed. It took about 2 hours to complete. I am not concerned because it was on work health and safety, and I am already very aware of the policies and procedures.

Here is another comedian, Johnny W.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wclfp9YpC0s

@avant-garde wrote -

"But then also how God had chosen them to lead and care for his flock...

That God ordained my childhood church leaders to abuse me. "

God didn't ordain these people, that was the work of Satan. God would never ordain His flock to abuse His children. I hope you truly understand this is not the work of the Lord, but of the evil One.

You have been in my prayers sweetheart, and I hope that Monday is passing uneventfully for you.
I have only been online a little of late as I was sacrificing worship time and I need to find a middle ground. Even when I'm not around you are still always in my heart and my prayers my darling Avant 😍🙏❤️

@Bunniekins my darling Bun, you and your mum are in my prayers. You don't have to be Christian to ask for spiritual help. We Christ followers like to help everyone 😍

Just editing as I saw the update that Bun-mum is home. I hope you are taking care of yourself as well honey, love you xoxo

@ENKELI

I do understand, but it's hard to grasp hold of the thread of understanding when the flight of emotions is like a blown up balloon let loose without the knot tied

I like Ezekiel 34 for this reason

@DownMoreThanUp hey brother, how are you today? I am pleased that the Lord is giving you peace, I just hope He gives you sleep soon.

Sleeplessness for anyone can cause problems, but with someone who has complex mental health issues I know it is much worse.

I was always envious of a lady I worked with who said all she had to do was ask God to help her sleep and she'd be out as soon as her head hit the pillow. That's never been the case for me and I know it's only because I am medicated these days that I sleep soundly.

My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in You, to be renewed in You, to take refuge in You... I give You my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.

Amen.

@avant-garde yes, I know it's easy for me to say that, I still struggle at times with situations.

Like why my non Christian friend has had a fairly easy life, has never had huge financial difficulties like me, got her first job back in Australia through a friend and when that job ended she got yet another job through another friend. She is overpaid and still complains that she deserves more. She makes decisions for me about catching up with mutual friends because she thinks I will say I can't afford it.

God when do I get to have a comfortable life? She doesn't believe in You yet You still allow her to have comfort, friends and money when I have nothing.

And then I hear "Lean not on your own understanding." I know we must not store riches on earth but it sure would be nice to not have to struggle!

Not the same as your situation I know but I do understand. And I know that I often need to be reminded that it is not God that makes these things happen.

How are you feeling this evening?

xoxo

@ENKELI

Azariah* contacted me today saying the deacon, we'll call him Jehoram*, wanted my phone number and pushed me when I refused that I started crying in the library.

Azariah mentioned the sermon from yesterday being about respecting the position of appointed leaders.

I stood up for myself and told him three times to give me space and leave me be.

He chose not to care a month ago when I asked for help and he thinks we're fine? Nope, he can rack off and not just care when it's convenient.

Jehoram is the reason I changed my number twelve months ago after Azariah just gave it to him and I freaked out at a foreign number calling me.

Jehoram is the one who tells me to park next to a skip bin

And that I could do to be happier.

Jehoram is an idiot.

And if he thinks me walking out yesterday is disrespectful because it was an ordination service he can bleep.

I don't trust him and I don't like him contacting me.

My dad was a deacon and look what he did.

@avant-garde it makes sense you would be distrustful due to your dad, but he sounds like a complete tosser!

I'm glad you stood up to him, and I hope Azariah doesn't breach your privacy again.

There are so many good people in the church...and then you get an idiot like him and it makes us distrustful all over again.

I've never had to be wary of anyone in the church but there is another field of workers that I was concerned about for many years due to an abuse of power when I was 21. It takes a long time to get that trust back.

@ENKELI

I have a chart that I use to pick their names from the kings of the tribes of Israel and Judah, Azariah has a sideways thumb and Jehoram has a downward thumb depending on where they stand with me. They both think they're kings of their own world, but their kingdoms still crumble