Sorry i have not been back to you about our drug usage, i tried again during the night but made a mess of it. Far too much to explain before i get anywhere to the point. So i thought i might just put it in Scriptural terms. Short and to the point and if you want to we can go on from there, or just leave it be, if it does not speak to you like it does me.
For me the issue was and is that the drug in question has lots of positives with regards to my illness. Nevertheless the grip of addiction made it go wrong time and again. For, in a simplified nutshell, i would use out of demand, and not be able to stay in control, and then not have anything left when i needed it, and then things would blow up time and again.
Plus i was greatly conflicted within for Jesus had set me free from smoking tobacco making smoking it disgusting yet holding onto the nicotine benefiting me. He did this also drinking too much coffee and consuming large amounts of alcohol in my early years. Yet my guilty conscience always wanted me to dispose of myself liking and defending myself using the drug.
So i asked Jesus to show me what to do. And this is what He told me to do. He said (through his Word in my heart) where you heed demand in your life for this drug lay down your life for me and you will gain it. And where you need the drug to stay in control of your life thank me for it. (Luke 17:33, Ephesians 5:20)
So from then on each time i felt demand demanding inside my heart i would NOT heed it, but instead Jesus had me repent of all the things i had done in my life past when demand for this drug ruled my heart. And so i repented from using too much, and too often, for no reason than feed my need. i repented of using it heeding demand, while i only had a little to get by on when i was in real need illness wise. Jesus also had me eat grace when i fell for the voice of demand, and soon had me begging Him for self control in Him and no more falling for that horrible devil within. This is how the spirit of addiction died in me and Jesus gave me new life learning how to use the drug for good instead of bad. So very, very glad Jesus completely removed that horrible unfaithful love ruling me in this part of my life out of my heart, and the drug can now benefit me without those horrible inner demands stuffing everything up all the timed.(Revelation 18:8) Freedom in Christ is there for freedom, Paul explained to me about that. Romans 8:32, Psalm 146:7)
Another REALLY important thing Jesus taught me to understand is that the drug bought on the streets more often than not has FAR too much of the psychedelic substance in it. The drug on the streets is there for people to go as high as possible and does not always benefit me, and could even make things worse when i use it at the wrong times.
