Am I experiencing OCD? If it is, how can I do a better job at regulating it? Please help, it feels like I'm going mad...

Dear Floyd-Strummer,

It sounds as if you are going through a particularly difficult period right now. It is confusing, because some of the things you mention are normal in adolescence, such as having crushes on people (although it sounds as your crush is dominating your life and causing you anxiety). Although I am not a doctor, to me it certainly sounds as if you are experiencing some symptoms of OCD. You must be frank and honest with your psychologist,,,otherwise there is no point talking to her.Don't feel embarrased about talking about your innermost feelings - psychologists are trained professionals and can offer you some of the help and advice you need.

A psychologist is not a medical doctor, and is therefore not able to definitely diagnose depression, OCD or anxiety. To get a definite diagnosis you need to see a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor as well as a counsellor, and can help you sort out just what your problems are and give you advice on how to deal with them. A psychiatrist is also able to prescribe medication if it is appropriate. If your diagnosis warrants it then don't be afraid of medication. It can be a great relief to people genuinely suffering from the problems you describe.

Do you have access to a psychiatrist? You could ask your psychologist to recommend someone.. If she has your best interests at heart she will not mind you getting a second opinion. Otherwise a GP can refer you to a psychiatrist. In some states you can get access to a certain number of psychiatric consultations for free - ask your psychologist or GP.

Let's find out exactly what your issues are and get some professional help. You do not have to deal with these things alone - many young people experience symptoms of OCD and anxiety, and what you need is professional support to help you get through what must be a terrible time. You are not alone, there is help available, it is up to you to reach out and ask for help.

I have bi-polar disorder, and I had my first episode when I was 15, so I know what it is like dealing with adolescence as well as mental health issues. I am thinking of you,

Ellu

Dear Floyd-Stummer,

You really have a difficult period coming up with all the Christmas stuff and not being able to see your psychologist for a while. You are going to have to draw on your courage to get through the hard times, and I will tell you a few things which have helped me. First, keep busy. You don't want to be sitting around worrying about your situation and feeling worse and worse. Every morning make a list of things to do - normal things you would do around the house as well as things like going out for a coffee. Rely on your friends. Ask them if they would like to do something with you or just get together and hang out. Each day make sure that you have things to do- keeping busy will help keep your mind off your problems and make the time pass faster. If you can't think of anything to do then go and see a movie by yourself. By keeping busy you will keep control of your day and hopefully help control some of your symptoms.

Another thing - write things down. When you are feeling distressed or overwhelmed by your symptoms then sit down and write out exactly how you are feeling and what is going on in your mind. You will be surprised how much better you feel after "unloading" your issues onto a piece of paper. Don't throw away the piece of paper - save it to show your psychologist so she can have a better understanding of what is going on with you.

Psychiatrists are not free in Australia, but you do get a Medicare rebate. Ask your psychologist or GP about any way you can access psychiatric help for free.Don't underestimate your GP. While your psychologist is away you may feel the need to talk to someone about your issues - most GPs nowdays have an understanding of mental health issues and can at least talk you through your issues. And don't forget the helplines - both beyondblue and SANE have helplines you can ring to talk to someone when you feel the need to talk.

And don't forget this forum. It is a good way of meeting people in the same situation and talking over your feelings and ideas

Above all, don't bottle it all up inside. That will only make things worse. Talk to people (your GP, the helplines, the forum) and express what you are feeling.A problem shared is a problem halved.

Don't think about how long it is until you see your psychologist, concentrate on getting through each day day by day. And don't forget if things get really bad you can always ring Lifeline. They are highly experienced professionals and can support you when you need it most.

I find it strange that your parents won't pay for you to see a psychiatrist. Do you know that for sure? I don't know exactly how much it is with the Medicare rebate, but maybe you need to be more open with them and explain your situation. I know I would never let any child of mine struggle alone. It is a good investment if it can get your symptoms under control and help you lead a happier life.

So at the moment you are in survival mode - you have to do what you can to keep on top of your issues until you can get back to your psychologist and hopefully a psychiatrist. Maybe some other members of the forums have some suggestions for you, but whatever happens don't give up hope.

Ellu

Dear Floyd-Strummer,

It must be very difficult dealing with mental health issues without the support of your family. I understand it must feel as if you are up against a brick wall. It is hard enough trying to cope without getting mixed mesages from your father and members of your family. Do you have an older brother or sister, someone you could take into your confidence and discuss how you feel? What about another adult in your life? Is there a relative or school counsellor you would feel comfortable talking to? I know the thought of trying to talk to someone must feel overwhelming, but it is the only way forward. What is the worst that could happen? Reach out to someone and see.

The best way to learn to open up to other people is to first practise opening up to yourself. I have said it before, but start by trying to write down your feelings and thoughts, including those you find hard revealing to other people. Write down everything - it doesn't have to be an essay, it can be just a series of notes. You will be surprised how writing things down will help you get them off your chest. And writing things down and understanding yourself better will make it easier to communicate your thoughts to other people. By that of course I mean people you can trust.

Are your family generally kind and tolerant people? If so, you could write them a letter, explaining what you are going through and how hard you are trying to cope with your issues. Sometimes it is easier writing to someone than trying to talk to them. Make sure that you are open and honest and explain exactly what is going on. It may not work, but it is worth a try.

Talk to Headspace and ask them about support groups for people in your situation. If you can meet other people to talk to you can make new friendships and not feel that you are being "judged".

As for being "judged", think about all the good things about yourself, your good qualities as a person, the things you have achieved, your courage in coping with mental health issues, and tell yourself that anyone who wants to judge you can go f***k themselves!

I don't know anything about the mental health system in New South Wales (can any other member of the forum help?), so you will have to ask your psychologist or GP about how you can access a psychiatrist.There must be a way.

Listen Floyd-Strummer, don't give up on yourself! Remember that you are a valuable unique human being, and don't give up the fight. But you do have to start opening up to people and letting them know what you are going through and what is on your mind. Practise by writing your thoughts down, then reach out to someone you can trust and open a conversation. I know how hard it is, I went through it all when I was 15, but you have to keep trying. And don't forget the SANE and beyondblue helplines if you just want to talk to someone. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who understands, especially if you are feeling down. You can do it.

Ellu

Dear Herbie,

This must be a nightmare time of year for you. Not only are you dealing with your grief and supporting your mother in-law but everyone around you is going nuts over Christmas fever and everyone is supposed to be happy and jolly. Wherever you look around you, at the decorations in the streets and the carols piped into shopping malls and supermarkets, contrasting with the sorrow you are feeling. Of course you are not interested in parties and Christmas.

You do not say what your family situation is like. Are there children in the family? If so I guess you will have to put on some sort of show for them, but keep it simple and just do the basics. If there are only adults involved, why don't you skip Christmas altogether? Just gather close family together for a quiet lunch or dinner to remember your father in-law. It will still be an opportunity for the family to gather together, but without the pressure of having to put on a show.

How is your mother in-law coping? If she is struggling, it might be an idea for her to talk to a Grief Counsellor. Your GP can give you the name of someone.

Supporting someone who is grieving is really hard, because basically there is nothing much you can do. The important thing is to make sure your mother in-law knows you are there for her, and you are there for her to lean on when another bout of grief strikes. All you can do is listen to her talk and be there so that she doesn't feel totally alone.

You have to look after yourself in all this too. If you are spending a lot of time supporting your mother in-law then you have to take breaks from time to time in order to look after yourself. Go somewhere or do something you really enjoy for a while - get right away from the grief thing for a while so that you can replenish your energy.

Try to keep your life simple, and don't get caught up in all the holiday hype. Enjoy your family around you, but don't make a fuss or expect it to be like a normal year. Just take it day by day and don't forget to give thanks for the life of Morrie who can't be with you this year.

Ellu