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Something different.

24601Contributor09 Dec 2017, 9:30 am AEDT

Something different.

I'm new here. Although I've been reading along with quite a few stories for quite a while, I've not felt confident writing anything myself for a long time and even now I'm battling myself and my natural instinct to isolate myself from the world.
I've always been shy but over the last few years when things became unmanageable I've found my social anxiety debilitating. It seems that social anxiety is included in online activities as well as in real life.
But now I've decided to push myself to do something different and to try reaching out. I guess I don't really have anything to lose and if I don't try then nothing will change. And I need to give myself a chance to see that life can be different from what it's been.
So with a deep breath I'll leave it here for now and press post.

16 replies

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In response to: Something different.

MazaritaSenior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 9:40 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi @24601, welcome to the forum. I myself have just been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder (an extreme form of social anxiety). So what you write in your post resonates with me too. I've been around the forum for a few years now though and it's been a fantastic lifeline through my days. I hope you too find it helpful.

Feel free to talk more here in this thread you have started, or to join in to any other thread, as you feel comfortable or able. You may already know that to 'tag' someone so that they are notified of your message, you just need to type @and then their name. As in @24601 or @Mazarita. A drop down menu also appears that you can select from once you type the @ symbol.

Kind wishes, Maz

In response to: Something different.

travellerSenior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 9:54 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hello and welcome to the Forum @24601 i am one of the moderators called Traveller. i think its really courageous to take this step and i'm sure you will have lots of support from the lovely people on this forum. Its so true when you say that if you dont do something diferent nothing will change..i often say that myself..but its still really brave to take the action. i am often so impressed reading the many messages of support people give to each other on here. I'm sure we will chat again and want to encourage you in this process. Cheers Traveller

In response to: Something different.

Unknown userMember09 Dec 2017, 10:05 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi @24601 it is difficult posting that first post. I remember I was hesitant doing it too and that was only 3 months ago. But in that time I have found a lot of support and comfort in these forums.

Would you like to start by telling us a bit about yourself.

So I am female, 39 and have two little ones. I suffer from complec PTSD, depression and anxiety.

In response to: Something different.

CheerBearSenior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 10:11 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi @24601 ☺ It's really great to see you here trying something different and posting even though it feel scary.I love your avatar - it looks very intricate. I am wondering if drawing or art is something you might enjoy doing, and if so, whether you've come across threads like Through One's Eyes (I think it is in social spaces from memory)?

I'm heading out for a little while but wanted to say hi as I have felt you around quietly for a little while and was excited to see you here. I hope you can find the forum helpful for you and look forward to seeing you around some more ☺

In response to: Something different.

CatcakesSenior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 10:15 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi @24601,
Welcome to the Forums and well done for having the courage to post.
Are you a Les Mis fan?
I’m also fairly new to forum and bumbling along a bit.🌻

In response to: Re: Something different.

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 10:25 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi @24601 I echo the sentiments of everyone else here - so very brave to take the step to reach out to connect here and welcome to the forum

The forum, like anywhere, can throw up it's challenges but the rewards can outweigh those challenges 10 fold. Take your time 'looking around' and 'dipping your toes' into threads. You will soon find like minded members or members that you feel you have a connection to - and when that happens the reward will definitely be a feeling of belonging. This is definitely a very unique community - and you @24601 are now part of that community - so again - welcome - and I hope you find it both inviting and supportive

In response to: Something different.

24601Contributor09 Dec 2017, 2:37 pm AEDT

Re: Something different.

Just quickly wanted to say thank you for all the responses. I've got my daughter with me right now but will try to come back later to reply more.

In response to: Something different.

frogSenior Contributor10 Dec 2017, 7:47 am AEDT

Re: Something different.

Welcome @24601 and well done on your post! I like the idea of the forum but didn't act on it for 2 years. I'm so glad I finally did. I hope it's a good space for you too.

In response to: Something different.

24601Contributor13 Dec 2017, 9:31 pm AEDT

Re: Something different.

OK its taken way longer that I planned to write on here again. The last few days have been a big mix of feelings and I've been having trouble finding the right words. I don't understand why communicating with other people is so hard and scary for me. I wish it was different but can only hope that it's something that I can improve on with practice.
Some basic info about me is I'm 34, female and have one daughter and also two dogs.
I've been diagnosed with major depression, panic disorder, Bpd and ptsd. Although sometimes different people have different opinions about what the actual problems are.
I find it very difficult to leave the house on my own and to manage being around people or lots of noise without needing to run away or hide under tables so I spend most of my time at home working on my drawings and listening to music or audio books.
Ok that's enough about about me for now.
Oh one other thing that I'll quickly mention is that after I did my original post the other day I had a major freak out and had to go for a drive to calm myself down. It seems silly now and I can laugh a bit and shake my head at myself but in that moment I needed to get far away from what I'd done. It's good looking back now and realising that even though I was scared about reaching out on here and had that big moment of panic afterwards, nothing bad actually happened. I'll try to keep that in mind for next time.

In response to: Re: Something different.

MazaritaSenior Contributor13 Dec 2017, 11:18 pm AEDT

Re: Something different.

Hi again @24601, it's great that you are able to have a bit of a laugh about freaking the other day after posting on the forum. The forum gets easier the more you do it.

I have found too that different people have different ideas what my problems are. I am 55. The first diagnosis I received about 25 years ago was depression and anxiety. This was later revised in 2008 with a bipolar diagnosis. Just recently I have had avoidant personality disorder added to this. I sometimes get obsessed with my 'labels', but I also know it's not gospel, and it's not all of who we are.

There are a number of people on the forum who find it hard to leave the house, myself included, though this has improved for me over the past few years. I believe a part of this improvement is due to reaching out and sharing on this forum. I still have days where I can't leave the house though, but not nearly so many as I used to.

Cool that you are into drawing, music and audiobooks. I am into making little videos, and I go to an art group run by a community mental health organisation.

Keep posting at your own pace.

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