What is your motivation to continue

Hi @outlander

Not too bad @outlander. Have been madly organising my home for evaluation and had a lot of real estate agents come and go - we hope to sell sometime in the early part of next year. My male friend was also diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and it's also in his hip - so that has hit me. Otherwise things are good, my health has improved as has my husband's for now. My daughter and I are closer which makes me feel happy (long time coming - she is 21).

How are you?

That's fine keeping it here @outlander 😄

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@beastmode wrote:

Hi @Phoenix_Rising,

Thank you for your response.

Quotes: "Have you been feeling this way for a long time? Was there a time when you didn't feel this way? "
Yes. I did not feel this way always. When I was younger I told myself that one day I would get medication and problem would be resolved. I tried both therapy and several medications and issues has not been resolve. This the reason why I am feeling hopeless. I can't even do simple things like go shopping, since I know the staff will intentionally provide bad service, since they feel uncomfortable.

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Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry for my delayed response. Even though I don't struggle in the same ways that you do, I can very much relate to what you are saying about feeling hopeless after trying various therapies and medications.

I saw my first therapist twenty years ago. After several other unhelpful therapists, I landed with one who I stayed with for sixteen years. This was a complex and abusive relationship. Since I left him two years ago, I have had twelve failed attempts at connecting with a therapist. BUT yesterday I had my first session with a new psychologist and I am VERY confident that she is the one that I've been looking for, for the past two decades.

So...what keeps me going? One of the things that keeps me going is that we simply never know what tomorrow will bring. Trying to find the right support is so so SO hard. It is truly horrendous to have to tell your story over and over and have so many bad experiences with unhelpful helping people. But the good ones ARE out there @Former-Member. The fact that you haven't been able to get helpful help with your struggles yet does not mean that you are untreatable - it simply means that there are a LOT of unhelpful helping people out there. I guess one of the things that kept me searching for that elusive right person is that I KNOW mental health issues are treatable. I know that mine are, and I know that yours are too. The super challenge is in trying to find the right person who can actually help us. I so very badly wish it wasn't so hard to find helpful helping people.

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@Liverpoolgal wrote:

when you say people get offended are you certain they are offended? or could itbe that your self consciousness and anxiety projects that? im just wondering..becuase i would understand if you were shouting at them ...were aggressive or moody...but blushing and swallowing is in fact harmless , non threatening behaviour...one would assume you were shy or anxious...but that is not threatening to others if you see what i mean.

it might appear like a tick...but i dont see why that would make people fearful

do you have any friends you can talk to..if only one?

do research and find a meditation group made up of kind, open hearted people. they do exist i promise! the key is for us to find a space with people where we can feel safe...it might take time, as will the meditation process, but its so worth it in the long run

best of luck to you and a big hug from me. you are not alone XXXX

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@Liverpoolgal Thank you for the advice. I will try meditation. I am certain that people are offended since people yell at me and mock me. I am also dealing with staring OCD and have no friends to talk with.

Hi @Phoenix_Rising,

Glad you found a psychologist you feel comfortable with. You make a good point that there are people who can help us with our struggles.

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@outlander wrote:

theres a thread on here called 'what give you hope?' theres some motivational stuff on there, feel free to add what gives you hope as well @Liverpoolgal@Former-Member@rosey@Tyler01

@Former-Memberim pretty sure your on there, maybe i should bump it up?

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Hi @outlander,

Thank you for the recommendation. There are a lot of great comments under this thread.

I guess, like most people, it’s not wanting my loved ones to suffer (especially my 16yo daughter).

We lost my brother to heroin in 2014 and he was my only sibling, so I’m all my parents have left. That pretty much made suicide even less of an option.

@Former-Member

You have friends to talk to here.....🌹