Will rage tare me apart from the inside ?

Hi @Fractured welcome to the forums. I have schizoaffective disorder and bp1. I never got rage although I did lose control over my emotions and am medicated for that which has been invaluable for me. Are you medicated for moods swings? I think it is time to reach out for help from your psychiatrist. Let us know how you are going.

@Fractured Yeah I know ... thing is if you do hurt yourself or someone else they will do exactly that ... I would go see my psychiatrist.

hello @Fractured

That must be very frightening for you to experience such intense feelings ...

the fact that you are aware that this has been happening for some time possibly dating back to childhood means that you are now in touch with your feelings and acknowledging them...

I just wondered if you do see a psychiatrist regularly .....do you trust and feel safe with this person? allowing you to open up and discuss such feelings?

if you are not currently seeing someone you can of course talk to your gp and ask for a referral....

again if you trust your gp you could mention your schizophrenia and who do they know who has experience working with people with schizophrenia...

I think that everyone who has responded to you has given you helpful suggestions..

lastly and very importantly please keep on writing on these forums.....

you will find much support....also other areas of interest where you can find some distraction.

if you search for the thread introduce yourself here......community guides will help show you about the forums..

other than that just ask....no judgement here...

wishing you all the best in your journey

Dear @Fractured

Are you sure that your not my husband? This is something that he has struggled with for many years and he has spent his life hiding behind it by self medicating until he met me and now he is not self medicating anymore, We work very hard on our relationsihip, He was diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia in 1989.

I think that @Lisajane brings a very gentle way of taking responsibility of your condition. It's really difficult that you are facing your aggression, as I wrote ...it took my husband many many years to face his.

When @Former-Member asks " Do you safe with your Psychiatrist,? Wow, isnt @Former-Member

insightful. One of the MAIN problems with my husband was that he was and felt VERY unsafe with his teams he had watching over him until he met little me who jumped up and down until we met a safe mental health team. We then decided that at the end of the day: hospital daily mental health is good for the medication but I need more to feel cared for so we also go to Relationships Australia once per fortnight. EVery fortnight, we go there and we grapple with very loose, calm emotions that my husband has never thought he both gives me and takes away. It is so hard being in that umbrella ...."schizophrenia.'

Do you think that you could feel safe having a very calm chat about what emotions mean to you ?