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Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

Alec_29Contributor20 Nov 2017, 11:09 pm AEDT

Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

So I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, severe Hypochondria along with panic attacks and obsessions & compulsions and I have been trying to seek help.

I have been on meds for a few months & it's the best decision iv made, however i'm not cured the meds just dull the symptoms but I still cant function like a normal human being & I cant cope with this, i'm going to die at some point & my life is just wasting away while i'm constantly scared & anxious. I hate leaving the house, I cant play sport because i'm afraid ill get hurt or the team will get mad at me because I suck, i cant even watch tv or read anything related to health or danger without freaking out and being convinced i'm dying & i'm constantly worried spiders are going to cause me to die in my sleep or that i'm just going to drop dead for no reason. I constantly feel like there is something wrong with me & none of my friends or family understand that I cant just stop being anxious or do things like a normal person.

I have been on the waiting list for therapy for about 5 months and I called up today as I have my first appointment tomorrow and it turns out they didn't even book me in they forgot so now i have to wait at least another month & Im struggling. Im beginning to lose all hope, what even is the point of trying the therapy probably wont help, i can only have 10 sessions in a year as I just turned 18 and cant pay for my own meds let alone therapy & my family struggle financially so I cant ask them to pay for me because i'm unable to function normally. We are also going to be even worse financially soon as my mum has decided to divorce my step dad who is and has been emotionally abusive to me for years. I feel guilty about this because i'm the one he hates not my mum so she shouldn't have to suffer because of me. Im so worried about everything mainly my health, death & money and it makes everything so hard, I don't even know why I have mental health issues and it sucks. I also just finished school so I don't have studying to distract me or give me a sense of achievement anymore and I have no hobbies because they are expensive. I cant even get a job even though I try so hard and had almost perfect grades, nothing seems to be going right for me at the moment. Im kind of pathetic I cant even drive because im terrified of cars and driving im 18 I should be a responsable and able person but im not.

Sorry I sound like im whining I know there are heaps of people worse of than me I don't even really know what the point of this post is i'm just really frustrated and stressed

3 replies

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In response to: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

MavRixxContributor21 Nov 2017, 1:03 am AEDT

Re: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

Hey @Alec_29

Don't loose hope. You have taken first step, which is the hardest. I know many people who lost their way.

You are brave person in my book. I am sure you have other good qualities. Write them down and focus on them.

You are still young. Your time will come, young Jedi. Have faith in yourself. You will get thru this.

It's late. Try and get some sleep.

In response to: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

frogSenior Contributor21 Nov 2017, 7:04 am AEDT

Re: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

@Alec_29 I feel for you. Anxiety just sucks. You sound intelligent and kind. Don't forget to be kind to yourself. I'm nearly 50 and it's taken me so long to be open to the message of self-compassion, but I'm convinced it's vital.

Even if you can't play organised sports, is there a way for you to exercise? Walking is a good start, but if you feel like you don't want to leave the house maybe you could set a mini goal with yoga, or a couple of strength based exercises that you can build on. Anxiety can be so crippling so anything you can do for your wellbeing is a win.

Job wise it's really hard. If there's nothing doing paid work wise think about volunteering. That shows future employers that you're keen. It sounds like you might need to find a context that is comfortable for you. Maybe when you get to therapy that could be something to work towards.

When I hear of young people struggling with mental health stuff I also want to ask why this happens to people; why do some people really suffer with it? I have for more than 30 years and I don't have any answers, but I do know it takes a lot of courage. Give yourself some credit. Peace.

In response to: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Nov 2017, 8:50 pm AEDT

Re: Honestly whats the point? I cant control my anxiety & therapy might not help.

@Alec_29
Your mum is leaving your step dad because he's not a nice man. This is not on you. It's on him. His behavior has caused this. Don't ever think it's your fault.
Well done for booking into therapy. I understand it must be bloody annoying that they messed up the booking, but next month you can start.
The stories I've heard about therapy for OCD & Anxiety are really promising. Not easy, but the results are said to be huge.
So between your meds, which have taken the edge off & this new therapy, you judt may find that your anxiety decreases alot and that you can create a life where you feel comfortable.

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