The Wailing Wall (Trigger Warning)

@Former-Member - you may find this thread helpful presently 💕xxx

I have been feeling very unwell with very little sleep presently. Feeling quite low. Trying to deal with this present decline in mental health together with looking out for the needs of my daughter, husband and others is causing me to feel overwhelmed. I am wondering if I can do this anymore.

I cry inwardly from the pressure, pain and uncertainty - I cry from the feeling I have failed. Don't want to let anyone down but also want the space to get better.

Would like to just get away from everything in the privacy of bush acres for a little while to be able to fully heal and find myself again. But it's impossible. Feeling stuck 😥

@Former-Member

Been overwhelmed for months but busy and managing to function more or less efficiently on my own personal time scale.

So good to come back here and read a post from you @Appleblossom 💜. It gave me a much needed smile to read that you are winning the battle and achieving within your own limitations. I think that is what I need to reassess as I am sleep deprived and feeling the strain. I have crashed and burned - an unexpected cycle triggered. It's moment to moment for me presently. I will get there again.

My cross stitch is helping me to relax and keep the tears at bay - I am stitching the most picturesque garden scene and imagining myself there. Wondering why life can't be as beautiful as my cross stitches.

Wry @Former-Member

I am sure they are Beautiful. Keep at your cross stitches. Bringing beauty into the world is good. Life does as life does and is not a reflection of us but its own unique energies.

If I think about my personal family pain I will collapse or explode, so distraction is good.

I love the texture of colour of the wool and the repetitive peaceful activity .. plus they may make great gifts and pics ... when I began one forum I had 2 unfinished, but you have reminded me I still have to frame one. Maybe next year tho.

I was cracking jokes at choir practise ... sharp as a tack .. hope the pitch not too sharp... even made people laugh today as I went about business spittin tacks ( with me). I did not attack anyone just found a way to vent humour that other person could get... this is a new style for me .... my motor mouth has finally become fully fledged from the western suburbs. Not swearing ... tho even a gang of pierced tattoed 20 yo guys were friendly half an hour ago as I got off train. Friday night fun. I was not frightened. I waved they were being loud and I did not mind.

There was a lovely Turkish couple in their 40s. He mentioned something that lead to discussing my son's situation in a broad general manner. While I feel weirdly blessed by random good vibes from random people most days, my family is such a mess.

It is such a good idea to institute a WAILING WALL. It normalises the feelings and struggles and give a socially appropriate outlet.

Hi @Appleblossom

I so love your way with words, such as "it is such a good idea to institute a Wailing Wall. It normalise the feelings and struggles and gives a socially appropriate outlet". Such a brilliant analogy of the inspiration for this thread. That is exactly why I created it. To show such feelings in our culture is deemed not socially appropriate, and in my thinking this is one of the reasons why we have such rising statistics of mental health issues. It's just not healthy to not have a place, a person or a way of releasing our emotional pain, distress and grief.

I can't wait to see what you bring to the collaborative short story writing group. I feel the story theme will be right down your alley. I hope to finish the first part soon - health issues ave prevented me from doing so but I hope to have it up soon. Fingers crossed.

I have had so much on my mind lately and it was wearing me down. Once I came and "let it out" briefly on this thread it enabled me to release this tension and get back to activities such as my cross stitch. It felt right, so I hope others can utilise this thread for the same reason and not be oppressed to weeping online (expressing their struggles, grief and distress). It's a healthy way to release the mental pain which can sometimes be agonising.

Distraction is so important @Appleblossom. If I dwell on my issues the result would be just like you described. I just loved your new way of expression with humour. Others would appreciate a laugh - it truly is the best medicine and such a positive way of connecting with others. It leaves everyone feeling better about life as it lightens it up and is also a good way to release tension. I love being around people that not only can be open with me in communicating but in giving me a good laugh. I roared laughing at "my motor mouth has become fully fledged from the Western Suburbs" 🤣😂🤣. I love this new style - keep going.

Cross stitch is a peaceful meditative activity - I have given a few away as gifts. I am stitching "Sweetheart Gate" by Dimensions presently and have one huge angel framed now. Have you seen the pics of them? My next project is on a hand dyed ocean shade opalescent fabric which I will be stitching "Mermaids of the Deep Blue" by Miribilia. It's will be a challenge as it incorporates countless beads and metallic threads but I can't wait to start it. I would love to see a pic of your cross stitches when you have the time.

I did manage to get some sleep last night thanks to medication - my goal is to achieve this without them. I don't like the side effects. Will be keeping busy today as I feel stronger - distraction is definitely the best remedy at the moment from my pain. Thanks for your friendship and support @Appleblossom. 💕xx

@Former-MemberI have only used wool and one is with polyester skeins, but beads and metallic threads sound utterly gorgeous and breathtaking.

I should not compare my feeble attempts with yours. I have not made it my main artform. I played with fabric and wool more before I married and sewed a lot.

Thanks for encouraging me. My language style is a unique mix of all the reading, relationships, counselling sessions and groups I have been in and suburbs I have lived in.

Head pain is big today.

I need to go through some songs for tomorrow's concert. Then off to an opera matinee on public transport and a coffee date.

I appreciate your friendship from 2 year ago.

We dont need to sit in each others pockets. Probably both a bit old and big for that.

I hope things pick up.

Sorry to read of your head pain @Appleblossom. Headaches/migraines are awful. Glad to read you don't let them stop you. I occasionally have to take migraine meds and it does help keep them at bay.

The opera matinee and coffee date sounds quite exciting. I would "love" anything like that. I use to go to the Opear House and musicals quite often. Enjoyed these evenings thoroughly, nice memories - I would love to do it again one day.

No, we don't need to sit in each other's pockets hahaha, would be a bit snug lol - you crack me up 😂

Enjoy your evening @Appleblossom - look forward to hearing all about it 💕

The opera was purely for me and networking for possible family businesses ... It was hilarious even though I ended up leaving 30 mins early and may help with good material for my writing projects next year.

The coffee date was also time poor ... but we got on really well ... but I have a feeling I met this guy a couple of months ago in a dark theatre and he is friend of a friend even though we also met coincidentally on Sth Melbourne beach last week. Not sure ... He did not cough up that bit of info .. but will check his integrity soon ...He is shorter than me so not sure how all that pans out, but we had lots in common so friends to start may be good. First time in my life I had a gf to chat about meeting a boy .. thanks Bella. @Former-Member

My head pain was such that when son was born I had to minimise meds and anti-infammatories .... so I am simply driven to keep active by pain more than anything. I am not prepared to add headache meds to my current cocktail. Maybe things will take a turn for the good and I wll be able to reduce these meds and get good doctoring across all my health issues.

The coffee date sounded very interesting @Appleblossom Great start to have lots in common, and also friendship is a good place to start whilst trust is nurtured. You know what they say - good things come in small packages. Even though with him being short, it will be the way he makes you feel about yourself and life that will either draw you closer to him or call it quits. Either way it will be fun in the process 😉 Look forward to hearing the developments - I hope it is all positive as you so deserve some happiness in your life.

I can understand you not wanting to add more meds to your current stockpile. I feel the same way there, and yes it's very likely you will feel better if you are able to cut down working with your medical professionals. I slept better last night again so I have already started to cut meds outs - I am down to taking 2 which isn't too bad. I still feel flat but am pushing myself to exercise and stay connected with others hoping for improvement. One day at a time......💕xx