BPD’s wrongly perceived

I’ve been thinking about the way my BPD is perceived by others without BPD, A LOT. I’ve come here straight from reading hateful & hurtful comments on an article in Facebook. Where better to vent my frustrations but a place where I am anonymous and am not being perceived as “attention seeking”

Let’s get to it.

My Symptoms of BPD are harsh yes, I live in a constant state of emotional highs and lows. When I am happy I am extremely happy, I LOVE that side of myself and I certainly wish I could stay in that state of living forever but when I am feeling low everything within me changes, my confidence, my self esteem, I look terrible, I feel terrible and when this happens (this is grieving, we are grieving some ridiculous mind switch that makes absolutely no sense to ourselves or anyone else for that matter) we act out (if we haven’t like myself had long term help) as a means to sooth ourselves, we want to be healthy stable people more than anything. I suppose I can only speak for myself in saying that when I am telling someone about how I feel I am not attention seeking! Imagine one of your parents dies, it’s a terrible emotional thing to happen and you’re not attention seeking when grieving their loss, you’re trying to feel better when talking about this death, we are only trying to feel better! The things I do when in a low state can be extremely self destructive and hurting myself does hurt other people, I take responsibility for this, I wear my wrong doings and I try to fix myself after all the stupid drunk horribleness that spirals out of control and my more recent OD, I do not do these things because I want people to feel sorry for me I do them because I can not cope with my damn personality and all the bloody chaos that comes with it! I am my own worst enemy and I want nothing more than to live life like a normal person, I am not trying to seek pity I am trying to seek someone to confide in and understand me. I just want to be understood, I just want compassion not pity!

Why are we catergorised like psychopaths? I care about other people and I will try to help other people. Just because we are largely misunderstood social freaks doesn’t mean we want to live this way. Others perceptions of something they could never truly understand is so damn hurtful. I am a loving, giving and numerous person with a pretty crappy diagnosis.

Compassion and understanding not hate please!