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Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

TryinhardNew Contributor13 Nov 2017, 5:12 am AEDT

Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

I suffer with depression, anxiety and online gambling addict. I’ve completely messed everything up. I’ve been charged with an indictable offence for stealing money from my ex boss. I ashamed, embarrassed, remorseful but more so I’m living in fear of the future. I’m divorced 4 years have 3 grown up children and my ex used to tell me I was a nut job, lunatic, psycho etc etc. when I left him he was angry and bitter and mentally and emotionally abused me for two years. Blaming me for everything and anything. I feel like a failure as a mother and a human. I’ve a court hearing this morning, my stomach is churning, I can’t sleep and honestly feel life for others would be better if I wasn’t around

3 replies

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In response to: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

marchhareSenior Contributor13 Nov 2017, 6:09 am AEDT

Re: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

Hi Tryinhard, it is Marchhare here.Welcome to the forums. I am sure you will find good support, advice and insight here from fellow forum members. I can understand that your stomach may be churning this morning. I hope you are getting support and counselling for your gambling issues.

I can also understand that you ay think that others may be better if you were not around. I am sure itis not the case. If you do want additional support then it might be helpful to ring Lifeline this morning.on 13 11 14 or the Suicide call back service on 1300 659 467

Take care, Marchhare (Forum moderator)

In response to: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

SaharaSenior Contributor13 Nov 2017, 2:01 pm AEDT

Re: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

@Tryinhard,

welcome to the forums.

Please believe you are not a failure.... however, you are a victim of abuse from your ex-husband. I think his negative words have really had an effect on you. Have you had some counselling and do you have any support in your life?

It sounds like you are very remorseful over stealing from you boss.... Gambling can be extrememly addictive- it can be like an illness- I think a magistrate would take something like this into account when you go to court. An illness is not really your fault, @Tryinhard. You are very hard on yourself.

Do you have help from Legal Aid or someone? I really doubt your case would be on the serious side of possible crimes- not that I am any expert on this.

Do your children think you are a good mother @Tryinhard? You have to ask yourself why you think that you are not? Just because you have had a bad relationship, got divorced and ended up gambling does not make you bad mother! Mothering is something different. Please don't be so critical of yourself. You could be an exceptionally kind and good person but still have some problems.

Please let us know how you are going.

In response to: Re: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

QueenieSenior Contributor13 Nov 2017, 10:15 pm AEDT

Re: Downward Spiral and don’t think I’m strong enough

Hi @Tryinhard and welcome to the forums! As @Sahara has mentioned, you have to believe you aren't a failure, negative words and negative actions can have a profound effect on someone's mental health. I had a very abusive ex, who used to use such negative words towards me. You are a victim of abuse @Tryinhard! I do hope you have some real world supports, whether they are psychologists, family or friends around you.

Gambling addiction is definitely an illness, the same as other addictions. I really hope the magistrate takes this into account in your hearing. I'm interested in knowing how you went this morning.

Sitting with you,

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