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Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

CraznarCasual Contributor06 Oct 2015, 12:53 am AEDT

Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

Hi, I've been desperately looking for help for 5 years or more. I have been feeling suicidal every day for over a year now, but can't find any help.

I have Alexithymia and excessive Anxiety issues that have combined to lead me to be effectively non-functional as a human being.

I have no family or friends to rely on, have seen over 20 psyhciatrists and psychologists over the years who have put me on 30 different medications over the years and cost me around $10,000. I've rung beyond blue and life line.

Between all of those I have received no actual assistance, and I can't hang on much longer.

What am I meant to do when all avenues are exhausted and my solitary confined life is too much to bear any more ?

Thanks

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In response to: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

AppleblossomSenior Contributor06 Oct 2015, 6:36 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

It takes time to deal with such a tremendous lot of loss to.

I dont think I could write down my feelings as such but I keep on trying to learn new things and explore ideas ...

sometimes I get flashes of insight about the past and my feelings and reactions .... I am not good on an instantaneous interaction. The world of ideas seem to be easier for me than to have relationships ... even though I try hard ... they are often not very satisfactory.... but at least I am doing something.

You have the date of your last good times locked in ... it must have been very special.

In response to: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

CraznarCasual Contributor06 Oct 2015, 6:36 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

@ivana Yes, I'm able to feel any emotions really, just unable to handle them or express them in isolation.

However - I just haven't had any thing to feel good about for over a decade.

In response to: Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

CraznarCasual Contributor06 Oct 2015, 6:48 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

@Appleblossom - time doesn't help me due to the Alexithymia. All that stuff is still unhandled, I've had no-one to talk to about any of them. No grieving done for lost ones.

Oh - it isn't locked in, I google the event (I remember what it was) to find out when it was.

In response to: Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

AppleblossomSenior Contributor06 Oct 2015, 8:39 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

When you have been in a state for a long time it is hard to imagine the possibility of change.But change can happen in unexpected ways.

I had a glitch in time that I googled about ... and then I met the fellow who had uploaded the official information elsewhere ... on this site ... weird ...

I lived in physical and emotional agony for about 12 years .. I am surprised and glad to say that mostly now the pain is manageable and mild, tho chronic.

There is lots I cant change and I have had a lot of grief too.

The invitation of the forums is to start to share .. start to express it in big clumps or short bursts ...as you feel fit.

some people struggle with the forum guidelines but they are limits in place as a protective measure .. the people here are vulnerable .. I work with the guidelines and dont let them bother me ... but get the message out ..

In response to: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

DrewbolaSenior Contributor06 Oct 2015, 9:03 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

Yes thanks

In response to: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

UlyssesContributor07 Oct 2015, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

Ahhh reading your post makes me so disappointed in the system. & worried for myself.. I've only been diagnosed with depression, anxiety & an eating disorder for the last 3 months and I've seen 2 doctors & 4 psychologists.. im only 20 years old. I may be bipolar also.. I'm glad I joined this forum & glad you have too.. You aren't alone! (I'm sure you've heard that before, I have!) the thing that frustrates me the most people who have no idea what depression is like. System review & education!

In response to: Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

CraznarCasual Contributor08 Oct 2015, 1:32 am AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

Sadly, I am alone - and there is nothing to be done about it.

If I was depressed, at least I might be able to be treated. As it is - there is no affordable treatment option for me at all.

When the specialists who can help are charging $400 for 30 minutes, with no guarantees - mental health is a rich person's business.

In response to: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

DrewbolaSenior Contributor08 Oct 2015, 11:49 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing With My Mental Illness in Isolation

I totally agreed Mental health is a mirage I see the signs Hear the words can taste the idea of balance
Just can't afford the care without giving up the balance altogether

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