butterfly615Casual Contributor
Feeling like I want to run away.
Hi, this is my first post. I don't even know if I should be posting here. I'm sure my problems are not special or unique to any of the other persons on this forum. I just don't know what else to do.
I'm a first time mom to my 6 month old daughter. I'm at home with her til next year. Hubby works full time, usually 4 days a week but is a shift worker so it may vary at times. I moved to Aus from the USA 10 years ago, all my family is still over there. My mom is deceased. My husbands side of the family are good, we live in Sydney and family is either in Newcastle or Canberra. They visit when they can but it's only every 3 or 4 weeks that they can make it down.
I have a history of mental illness (anxiety and depression) prior to baby, and PND hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as baby was born. I stayed in hospital for an extended time til my head cleared a bit. Breastfeeding was always a struggle so she would receive intermittent formula feeds or EBM. AT 5 weeks she was diagnosed with reflux and a tongue tie and it was snipped but by then she had a very strong bottle preference and I couldn't get her back on the boob. I was exclusively expressing and bottle feeding til 13 weeks when I cracked due to the strain on my mental health and we went to formula feeding.
Since then we have been on the merry go round of formulas and navigating her reflux. As we have escalated in terms of more specialised formulas, her feeding has generally decreased. We saw a pediatric gastroenterologist last week who believes she may have some type of cows milk intolerance but not confirmed yet. She is on special formula now but still struggling with feeding.
I have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my PND since 6 weeks and am on antidepressants for the first time in my life. I usually see my psychologist weekly but it has been a few weeks since our last appointment because of the flu going through our house and us cancelling the appointments due to my daughters unsettled state.
We don't have much in the way of practical support here in Sydney, it's really just us. My daughters behaviour is really draining me mentally. Our family helps out when they can but it's very limited.
The feeling of wanting to run away has been increasing in frequency for me, to the point where I have planned ways to leave my daughter at my husbands workplace even if he is out of the office, just so I can get away. I feel like it's better for her for me not to be around her when I am like this.
Things were going well up til this feed refusal began. Knowing your child is hungry but won't eat cause they are in pain is incredibly distressing.
My psychologist has tried to connect me with the FOCUS team who are volunteer in home help to watch your kid while you do the washing or other things. They aren't returning any of her calls. Same thing happened when the community nurse called them for a referral also.
I don't know what to do, I have been laying here in bed crying an hour and a half (baby is with hubby and MIL). I know something needs to change but don't know what or how. I feel like if we could fix her feeding issues, it would take a big load off.
Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.
I'm a first time mom to my 6 month old daughter. I'm at home with her til next year. Hubby works full time, usually 4 days a week but is a shift worker so it may vary at times. I moved to Aus from the USA 10 years ago, all my family is still over there. My mom is deceased. My husbands side of the family are good, we live in Sydney and family is either in Newcastle or Canberra. They visit when they can but it's only every 3 or 4 weeks that they can make it down.
I have a history of mental illness (anxiety and depression) prior to baby, and PND hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as baby was born. I stayed in hospital for an extended time til my head cleared a bit. Breastfeeding was always a struggle so she would receive intermittent formula feeds or EBM. AT 5 weeks she was diagnosed with reflux and a tongue tie and it was snipped but by then she had a very strong bottle preference and I couldn't get her back on the boob. I was exclusively expressing and bottle feeding til 13 weeks when I cracked due to the strain on my mental health and we went to formula feeding.
Since then we have been on the merry go round of formulas and navigating her reflux. As we have escalated in terms of more specialised formulas, her feeding has generally decreased. We saw a pediatric gastroenterologist last week who believes she may have some type of cows milk intolerance but not confirmed yet. She is on special formula now but still struggling with feeding.
I have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my PND since 6 weeks and am on antidepressants for the first time in my life. I usually see my psychologist weekly but it has been a few weeks since our last appointment because of the flu going through our house and us cancelling the appointments due to my daughters unsettled state.
We don't have much in the way of practical support here in Sydney, it's really just us. My daughters behaviour is really draining me mentally. Our family helps out when they can but it's very limited.
The feeling of wanting to run away has been increasing in frequency for me, to the point where I have planned ways to leave my daughter at my husbands workplace even if he is out of the office, just so I can get away. I feel like it's better for her for me not to be around her when I am like this.
Things were going well up til this feed refusal began. Knowing your child is hungry but won't eat cause they are in pain is incredibly distressing.
My psychologist has tried to connect me with the FOCUS team who are volunteer in home help to watch your kid while you do the washing or other things. They aren't returning any of her calls. Same thing happened when the community nurse called them for a referral also.
I don't know what to do, I have been laying here in bed crying an hour and a half (baby is with hubby and MIL). I know something needs to change but don't know what or how. I feel like if we could fix her feeding issues, it would take a big load off.
Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.
