Hi Jake,
Hi Nik - see responses below in pink- (disclaimer - please excuse me if I come across as too 'clinical', this is a side effect of my DID, an ability to disassociate from the emotive side of my brain and engage the logic - it helps me to analyze the situation, but perhaps doesn't help others to understand me).
It's an interesting one re: your band member.
It raises the question for me... what do you do when you think your friend may be experiencing mental health difficulties... how do you approach the topic... how do you encourage them to seek help?
Yes, good question, this has happened a number of times to me already, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how it is carved up, there are only two options: 1) say something 2) don't say something.
If I chose option 2, the behaviour (however it manifests) continues. If I chose option 1, I have been met with defensiveness. This indicates to me an awareness of the issue on some level. Assuming the person is unreasonable (i.e. they can't/won't listen to reason) it has been said - "you can't use reason with an unreasonable person").
What I've increasingly recognised is that I have more understanding about mental health and have greater 'mental health literacy' than my friends who work in other sectors. Mental illnesses have been normalised in my world, because of my experience, study and job essentially. Sometimes I forget my level of comfort talking about mental illness, is not the same as others. They haven't had the exposure I have and an understanding of mental illness.
I dare say the level of understanding shown by others to MI issues is directly proportional to their exposure to it. Coming from the perspective of a MI sufferer for 20 years (since diagnoses) I can hold a conversation with my GP and come away thinking anecdotally that I know more about the subject than the person does. When I quote MI facts I watch the reaction and the answers usually indicate to me the level of awareness.
This means sometimes when I discuss mental health issues, some people can't relate to them, they don't understand... even if they are displaying "symptoms". Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around diagnosing my friends, but for some, they don't make the connection between the behaviour or what they are experiencing, with mental health difficulties. I don't think of this as being in denial, unwilling to take responsibility or ashamed, I truly believe it's a lack of awareness and eduction.
I understand about 'diagnosing my friends', yes the connection is not there, now whether they are aware is another question. The trouble is, whenever I have 'made them aware' (ignoring the philosophical question if it is indeed up to me to make them aware) I am met with denial. Rhetorically speaking, how can someone deny something unless they are aware ot it on some level??
It's an interesting one - I think it's very easy for us to forget that people don't experience/talk about/exposed to mental health every day, so have a very low awareness.
This whole discussion of awareness interests me greatly - I am often accused of 'making issues' of things that are beyond other people's awareness. Apparently I am a HSP (hypersensitive person) and notice far more than I am able to process, which overloads my sensory system. When I mention issues (that I am aware of) to other people in authority, the usual response is - "what problem"? The obvious (unspoken) response is - "just because you are not aware of a problem, does not mean that it does not exist".
....and then there's just people who aren't ready for help... and being there for them is all we can do.
Ah yes, the old moral dilemma - 'even if a person is clearly suffering from MI issues, we can't force them to seek help if they don't want it' (unless they are a threat to themself or society I believe).
Ah... it's complicated huh!
Yep and it is my belief that people sometimes make it much more complicated than it needs to be - why can't we sit down and discuss this adult to adult?
e.g. My adult children won't/don't speak with me, I assume they have not considered that I may be unwell. I belive they may think I choose to somehow 'be this way', like MI is something I 'chose' to have. The irony is one of them has a MI.
Regards, Jake
