Topic Tuesday // Is it okay to ignore Christmas? // 19 Dec, 7pm AEDT

I’d really like to stay and chat but I have to head out (30 min late already 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:) I could very easily just chat on the forum tonight.
Anyway here’s hoping you all find a way through Christmas and have lots of yummy food. 🍪🥧🍮🍾🍤🥗🥙🍨🍗🥐🧀

Hi @NikNik. I'm single, no kids. So I usually have a big sleep in Xmas day, then lunch with my parents and sister. Is pretty quiet...maybe too quiet...!?

Christmas is ALL THREE for me too. Once the kids were gone it hit hard. MI causes people to keep you at a distance, as too does being single. My family is toxic, I am always of two minds being there at christmas, it's so fake and disrespectful. And with CTO level psychosis with brothers, there's often conflict. Now this year mum is dying, likely the next few weeks, if that. I have to give up Chrissy with my son to be there for her, 1200km hour - I hate it all.

@aj08 sorry you lost your twins, on Christmas Eve, horrible timing you'll always be reminded of, and only three years ago 😞 - still early days in the continuum of grief. I lost my youngest at 13yo on Australia Day 6yrs ago - we do learn to live with it, find a peace, and moments of joy again. Be gentle with yourself at these vulnerable times, people cant do this for you, nit in my experience. Self compassion is the key. Stay strong ❤🎍🎍❤

Hi @CrazyTiger. It's great to see you here. I find it can be so hard sometimes when there are difficult memories around this time of the year and little people to push through them for. I feel thankful that I have my kids who really drive me to get up and out but it can be a struggle. And I get so tired too.

Thanks @Teej and thanks @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

What a beautiful message for @mj08, @Former-Member - thank you for sharing those kind words.

@Former-Member What a big sacrifice to make. I'm sure your mother will appreciate you being there. I'm sorry to hear she is unwell.

& @Shaz51, I'm so sorry to hear about your close friend.

It sounds like christmas is going to be a bit out of the ordinary for your both this year.

Wish me luck - this will be the first year ever that I'm not having Christmas with my aunt (other than when I've been out of the country, or one of us has been in hospital).

I'm 52 and I've finally found the courage to go to a friend's place instead of my aunt's.

It's too hard gping to the same place where I will miss my late mother so much, and where there's nothing I can eat because my aunt ignores my food intolerances and preferences (I react really badly to salicylate, plus I'm vegetarian, both of which my aunt has ignored for over 15 years).

I haven't told her yet, although my sister knows, and of course the friend I'll visit - he also finds Xmas very distressing on top of having bipolar disorder, so we're going to have an un-Christmas, eat sandwiches and watch an 80s movie 😀

I'll ring my aunt on the day and tell her I have to see my friend because he's so distressed (he has been, and is changing meds this week 😕), and his mum is dying of cancer, she's interstate and he can't travel (also true).

I'm hoping this will save my aunt from being hurt by thinking I planned to avoid her Christmas by choice, because she is just not open to having that conversation.