To Have A Mental Health Problem is Part of Being Human

So I had another psychotherapy session last Friday. I may not be completely healed yet and still have a lot of schemas to process, but I am getting more satisfied with where I am at.

What is gratifying is the learning of skills to be able to tackle any mental health problems I shall face should they arise in the future. Being hopeful in the “future” depicts a healthier mind milieu.

I usually commence my day dawn-early with global news among a few things and heard this gentleman, who I thought is a psychiatrist, during one of the discussions. He said that the idea of having the optimal mental health our whole lifetime is incredulous if not arrogant. That statement just reminded me of how ephemeral we all are in the grand scheme of things in this universe.

Therefore, to expect a stellar bill of health our whole lifespan is an impossible concept. We all can get sick every now and then. The difference is whether we are equipped with skills to arrive at beneficial and appropriate solutions.

I have never been diagnosed with a mental health problem before but who can really say I have not been on a fork in the road where it could have ended like this? The difference was that the circumstances then may have been auspicious for self-resolution. This time, all the odds were stacked against me and really have dealt a heavy blow.

Had I symptoms of a more tangible, less abstract, less invisible illness, it would have been easier to navigate which path toward wellness to take. Despite my education (I am a nurse), I took to disbelief and confusion and bewilderment and ignoring myself. This I did for years because I could not accept that I could not be within the normal limits in terms of my mental health.

Sweeping my symptoms, my thoughts and feelings under the rug did not help. In fact, it was really dangerous. I could have died of suicide without even knowing what was happening to me, let alone understand the psychodynamics of my psyche. Beginning last year, I came to a point where all I can do was to keep me safe from myself as my suicidal ideations became increasingly pervasive and ultimately the only goal in my mind.

I am in the mend and my learning process will be evolving for a better me according to the standards I set for myself. This will be my new journey. I was lucky to have survived this, not because of strength of willpower or faith or religion or health insurance or knowledge or character or personality. I survived because at that time when it could have ended badly, there was somebody who cared and know enough to say that I will need medical help, who knew how to traverse this avenue toward mental health, and that professional services were accessible to me.

A few of you may be experiencing something you cannot put a finger on in terms of your mental well-being. I encourage you to ask for help. It is okay to ask for help. You are not to blame should you suffer from a mental illness either. It is just what it is, but how we respond to such a situation will be all the difference in the world. -it-