Advice would be nice

Hi dear @AnnieJ,

Nice to meet you. You'll make some good friends here. I'm here for you.

I have only got 6 or 7 close friends and about 60 that I know on facebook. You could try going to the library or church to make new friends. Most of my friends are good Christian folk. It can be hard to meet people. A relative told me even at the Bingo Hall, only one person spoke to her. You can be lonely in a crowd.

Ya it's hard for me as my mother has betrayed me and is not talking to me, and I've decided to have no more contact with her due to her verbal abuse. So it's hard for me not having a mother.

There is a Mr Right for everyone. Be kind to yourself and believe in yourself. You are special dear Annie. I find that prayer helps me. But 'faith without action is dead' Book of James. We need to will ourselves to make an effort to get out of our comfort zone and join groups etc. But having said that, you can make friends just walking the dog, or hopping on a train and talking to someone nice.

All the best and take good care. Your dear friend BambiFawn.

Thank you. Getting out and about is a bit of difficult because of anxiety and fear of rejection. I find it hard to find new people and get to know new people. Autism makes socialising hard. People who are odd or different are often shunned. I am a part of board game and dungeon and dragon groups which I enjoy. I live in a relatively small place so options are limited.

Hi @AnnieJ.

Moving away from everyone you know and not being able to discuss your MI with your family must be very difficult.

Two ways I have tried to meet new people or find people who have similar interests is with Meet Up, and app or online community for all sorts of groups. There operate in a lot of places but seem to have a lot more options in capital cities. I know they have aspergers groups but they also have groups for art, movies, tech, eating, bush walking etc.

The second way is with a mental health organisation called GROW which is a peer support group. If there isn't a group near you, there may be something similar. Some hopitals run DBT or CBT groups for young people (generally under 25 years).

Hope you find something that helps.

Hi @AnnieJ, Welcome to Forum Land

I am a 40 year old female Aspie with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I don't have any friends or family - my entire social network is here in Forum Land. I'm really sorry to hear how down you are feeling right now. I can relate to a lot of what you said. The only relationship I have had was an icky abusive one (I was 14 and my "partner" was a 32-year old youth group leader at the church I attended). I went on to sue the church over that situation so I'm never quite sure if it is even legitimate to call it a relationship. Anyway, suffice to say I can relate to what you are saying about not having had a relationship. I know I am definitely a social misfit, but guess what? As I've got older, I've become more ok with that.

There are a few people around your age here in Forum Land who share similar struggles in terms of not being quite sure where their life is going at this point in time. @MDT and @outlander are two who spring to mind.

It sounds like it would be super tough moving half way across the country for a new job. I know I would definitely struggle a lot with that.

I hope you are able to feel supported here in Forum Land @AnnieJ. I'm a little bit excited to meet another Aspie here.

Hey dear @AnnieJ and dear @MaryMahem,

I met a good friend of mine at Grow. He was a Writer for a Mental Health magazine and member of the Carl Yung Society. He also has a degree drom University. He just happened to be a Christian like me, and helped me stayed in his home with my baby when I had nowhere else to stay. He helped me tremendously and advocated for me with the Dept. of families and came to their meetings and he gave me much needed counsel, regarding domestic violence with my mother and her 4 husbands. Ya, so I'm so blessed to have gone to Grow that day and made a supportive and loyal friend.

All the very best.

I am ok. Feeling a little better now.

Phoenix_rising, its nice to meet another aspie. Its unfortunate that many of us tend to have comorbid mental health conditions.