My Story

@Appleblossom

You sound like me, I love blurting out things without thinking, even though at times you get that occasional raised eyebrow haha

Yeah writing down things is the best way, If anything use the Note feature on your phone, that one is extremely useful

@Jacques

Haha yeah the life of a Pro Gamer is quite interesting, but seeing the videos and the documentaries, doesn't seem fun at times, hell they say they "Train" for about 12-14 hours, I caouldn't do that I can barely sit down and play a game for 2-3 hours without taking a break let alone 12+ hours, but hey that's their lifestyle and I respect that, I'll just put on my Boxing Gloves and life some weiths thank you very much

I would have to say that HS prepubescent Beaker would loved to have been a Pro Gamer, but he decided to pick up the Rifle instead of the Controller

I know what you mean about Steam I used to be like you, just login and play, but then I started to check out the Store and that's where I fell in love. However, if you're iffy about the Steam Store I would suggest you check out IsThereAnyDeal for THE BEST deals...

Aye on Nirvana, NiN, Tool, good taste my friend

I feel you on the obstacles you gotta face with fitness, I would suggest you get a pair of dumbells, medicine ball and kettlebell, that will definetly open up your possibilities...

Cheers

Yeah i hear you, i used to be able to game for 12+ hours, but with my anxiety and depression i can barely do 2 hours now, my concentration is almost zero.

I will check it out, i sometimes look at the steam store, but i always go for the games i played in my youth. i will broaden my horizons, thanks for the tip.

Well i have dumbells, i used to use them every day, 6kg on each, i had awesome shoulder muscles, but it is all gone now, i have to really discipline myself again.

Sorry to get serious, but what services do the government offer for returning soldiers? do you think their is enough services available for returning soldiers? i would be interested to know.

If you don't want to answer you don't have to @Beaker_Batson, i was just wondering if you are getting all the help you need, have you found any techniques that work to reduce the PTSD?

My nephew wanted me to buy him a Tool CD .. but the mammas and the pappas all thort it was Devil's music .. I tried to pleez them all but I guess you cant.

The only metal gig was in the late 70s I went to was to help sound engineer and take in door money .. they thourt cos I rode a motor bike and wore a leather jacket that I would look cool ... I did the job but it was aweful not what you would call music ... ... I am often a girl before her time but ... I prefer Bach

A few years ago a composer from the MSO gave me some old Metallica Bass player books from his son also a composer ... sometimes I enjoyed playing them on the grand piano ... didididid .. it helped my son see there was a world bigger than Queens of the Stone Age ... then he found Bach too ....

@Jacques

What Assasin's Creed are you currently playing? The last one I played was Black Flag, I love the Multiplayer on AC, unique and kick ass

Have you heard of the Humble Bundle? If you haven't I recommend you do!

I suggest you use the dumbbells again, start off slow so you won't get burned out or injured (3 days per week)

The Govt. offers a lot of services to returning soldiers, well enough, the only problem is that MANY soldiers don't look for those said services, like I mentioned in the beginning, when I came back I didn't look for any help, that's the typical young soldier who gets back. Once I started to go to the VA and seek the help I realized how many benefits I have acquired when I became a Vet, I DON'T ever have to pay for Medical Services EVER! Idk how much It cost over there to go to the ER, but It's around 1k USD here, I can go to the VA at any time and It's Free, My School Tuition is paid for as well, I attend a Community College (Junior College) and I get paid, I'm also receiving a Monthly pension, that it will stay with me until I RIP, the Army is basically saying "Hey were sorry for messing you up, here take some Money" It's a benefit that stay with me regardless how much money I make per month, It pays for all my bills another benefit is: That when I have a son or daughter, he/she will be able to go to any College in the US cause I'm a Vet

There's other more benefits out there, especially all the stuff the VA has to offer, oh and I get a free pair of Glasses from them every year. However, like I said not many soldiers look for the benefits and well not to sound like an A-Hole, but alot of the older vets expect to be spoon fed. They just want to sit back and have the VA do their work for them, the Truth is: you have to be consistent and aggressive with the VA, yes they are entitled to get those said benefits, However it's a two way street, know what I mean? They won't just hand them over, you have to keep at it, that's how I got my stuff, I remember hearing Vets saying "I have been trying to get my Pension for 10-15 years"

When I heard that I *gulped* But, believe it or not I kept going at it, in my days off I was at the VA all day, filling paper work, running around and I got my pension in 2 years, I'm currently in the process to get a "Raise".Apparently Depression and Sleep Apnea may get me that raise...

There's a PTSD group which I want to attend again, the things they recommend Meditation, Breathing Techniques and well me personally just deal with it, there's not much I can do tbh. I just know what to expect, for example, Once I get the nightmares and the anxiety issues, the lack of sleeping, then I know that Depression is close by, I do however, stay away from things that escalates things. I love Battlefield (game) But, at times I can't play it cause I get a flashback or two, I don't like CoD cause It always messes with me, I can't stand fireworks, on 4th of July I usually lock myself in, get drunk and listen to music to drown out the sound, I remember when I came back, I went to Disneyland freaked out during the Fireworks show, I'm not a big fan of Haunted Houses or getting surprised in general, once I punched someone in a Haunted House cause they surprised me, those are the kinds that trigger me and I do my best to avoid them.

Boxing has been the best Therapy for me, It has been a blessing...

@Appleblossom

That's an interesting story, I also have those "That's the Devil's Music" members in my Family, hilarious. If you like Tool, check out A perfect Circle, It's a Super Group, has a Tool sound. QOTSA is dope, but there is a bigger world out there, what kind of music does your son like?

You play the Piano? Check out Avenged Sevenfold's Fiction, It's beautiful! I wander if you can play that

Cheers!

Yeah i am playing assasins creed revelations, and i am a big fan of black flag.

Yes i used to do weights and cardio 7 days a week, i do usually what you said start out slow, my father was a martial artist and trained me to do weights properly.

It is good the government looks after the soldiers, i have to tell you i am anti-war, but i don't blame soldiers, it is the governments i blame. Please don't hate me for it.

It is a shame the government does not focus more on treatment, money is great, but as you said, if you are mentally unwell money is of little use, i am so glad you know the warming signs and know how and what to avoid.

Have you thought of taking up yoga or tai chi, they might help you with depression/anxiety, taichi will help with your fitness to. maybe worth something to look into.

Yes i understand you must find it really hard to play war games, and i can understand the fireworks, but drinking is not a way to deal with it, have you thought of ear plugs to "soften" the sound, i get startled very easily, so i ware those builders foam ear plugs most of the day, it really helps.

I am looking up the humble bundle now, thanks for the tip. I hope you are doing ok, keep up the good work.

Take care, Be kind to yourself

Jacques

Hi @Beaker_Batson, i just had a look at the Humble Bundle, Wow what a great idea, what charety do you give to? i am going to really look into it. thanks for the advice.

I hope all is going well, i am going to get back into trainning tomorrow, you have inspired me to get off my butt and work out.

Thank you, it is much appreciated

Jacques

@Jacques

Ah yes Revelations, that one was great! If you want feel free to add me on Steam (can you PM on here?)

No I don't hate you, I'm not a fan of the government, I'm more a Patriot that loves his Country and his people, the Governement is on a different level, I'm just taking what they're giving me...

Yes I have tried Yoga and Taichi, but to be honest I'm not a big fan of the both, the truth is: It's difficult for me to clear my mind, I find it hard for me to mediate and get in peace, that's why I love working out, running, boxing, It's prefect therapy for someone like me.

Yeah ear plugs are nice, I'll look onto those when the time comes around.

Yeah the Humble Bundle is nice, I don't pick a specific Charity, next time I want you to get on Steam and see what the Humble Bundle is offering and compare the prices, It's quite amazing. In no time your Library will grow, also idk if you saw, but they also offer Comics on there, oh and the Bundles change weekly so make sure you always check out what they have in store...

Keep your head up Buddy

-B

Sorry @Beaker_Batson, this is an anonymous sight, so i don't think you can have contact outside of it, but it would have been nice playing some games together, i always like broadening my horizons when it comes to games.

@Beaker_Batson, i know it is difficult for you to clear your mind, but that is what yoga and taichi train you to do, it is something that takes years to master, some yoga masters spend their entire lives trying to master it.

Oh yes their is nothing like running/walking to clear the mind, i have my mp3 player flat out when i used to walk, deep fast beat stuff like dace/trance music.

Yes i have just joined the humble bundle on steam, the community is not so big, which is a shame, i wish more people would join things like this.

by the way i have been meaning to mention, it always brings a smilt to my face to see beaker, my favourite muppet was always Gonzo, that long nose and the trouble he always managed to get himself into, where you a fan of the muppets too when you where young?

I have noticed the VA of america have a great website for vet's, have you had a look at it? they have a whole section dedicated to PTSD.

Hang in their @Beaker_Batson, the Amercian military have been working really hard on was to manage and to ultimatly cure PTSD, i have read up a lot about the research that is going on in the USA, they are making advances all the time.

Take care, be kind to yourself.

Jacques

@Beaker_BatsonI like the words of "Fiction" but computer is on a go slow so cant stream.

Its good you have worked out your triggers and can avoid them.My dad died in a Repat (Vet) hospital. He was a Navy man and used to take me on the naval ships at Garden Island.

I have used the gym and physical activity to work through anger and fitness .. in the past .. but need to do slower things now.

The US health system is so different from ours .. good and bad points.

Do they have any forums like this?

Hi @Jacques Good to see you

Hi @Appleblossom,

Hey it looks like we have been promoted so i might say congradulations "community guide"

Sorry i have not been chatting lately, i have had a lot going on, i will definately be at Friday Night Feast. i hope to see you their.

Take care my friend, be kind to yourself

Jacques