Audrey72Casual Contributor
Acceptance of different label - depression vs anxiety
Hi everyone
My husband has recently been diagnosed with depression..... Prior to that, he believed he experienced anxiety. (I'm not sure if he self-diagnosed or was professionally diagnosed)
The different diagnosis has really affected him. Normally when he was going through an episode with anxiety, it would start with insomnia, he would have the most over-active mind and then start worrying about everything.... and this pattern would last a few days and then he would come out of it and work his way back 'up'. It would usually have been a work issue that triggered it, but the whole world would be engulfed in his thoughts and worry by the end.
His episodes have become much, much more frequent this year, so a fortnight ago he finally brought it up at work and was given some time off to focus on getting himself better. Finally, he went to see a psychologist, and then he was given the diagnosis of depression.
During the last fortnight, he has become a ghost of himself. He can not make any basic decisions whatsoever, he is often curled up in bed..... He is so unhappy, and is really struggling. When we have spoken about it, he says he is struggling with being diagnosed as depressed.
We are doing all the classic stressful things at the moment (building a new house, trying to sell our current house), while managing two small children (4 and 2 years old) with no family support. So I can completely understand his stress. Plus his father had a major stroke in January of this year, which has left him without speech. His father lived abroad, so now they cannot communicate via Skype like they used to. As they are so close, I know this must be so upsetting and he must be grieving for his Dad.
This year has been particularly stressful and hard, and he seems to have been in a downward spiral for most of it. (All the episodes are joining up now, rather than being years or months apart)
After all that.... I suppose I would like to know if anyone has experienced a similar reaction with their partner being diagnosed differently? If so, what did you do to help them?
I do some freelance work for mental health organisations, as well as experience depression myself, so I have always tried to be as understanding and supportive as possible. I am finding the situation at the moment very draining and frustrating, as my husband seems to have given up and cannot find a light at the end of the tunnel for himself.
He has started taking medication, which I know was a massive step for him. But he read all the supplied information about it, and then believes he is going to experience every negative side effect possible.
He is seeing a psychologist, and is starting CBT. How do you help someone retrain their negative thoughts?
I feel like I have my own mental health 'backpack' on my back, but that he is pulling that bag down to try and get help from me.... I am more than happy to help him, but I am also mindful of my own mental wellbeing, not to be selfish, but for the sake of our two kids, as we have no-one around to help us.
