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BambiFawnSenior Contributor
I'm sorry but I think it is very upsetting and unfair for a Pastor's wife to say to me, 'but you've moved on from your mother haven't you.' It's very dismissive and they don't appear to understand that the abuse from my mother has been not just historical but alive and dynamic. This 'nursery quarrel' has been going on all my life with my mother.
In response to: told to move on
girl99Senior Contributor
@BambiFawn
Hi Bambi Fawn, it can be hard when people dismiss our feelings or think we should just 'get over' something. Sometimes people mean well when they say things, but they just really don't properly understand.
I have been reading a book called 'Toxic Parents' by Susan Forward, it talks about overcoming the hurtful legacy of what bad parenting can do and trying to reclaim your life. I have found it very interesting. If you like reading, it is worth a read, it is a self guide book.
In response to: Re: told to move on
BambiFawnSenior Contributor
Thanks u so much dear @girl99. Your points are valid. Ya I've read ' Toxic Parents', when it was first published. It is a very good book, as Ive been in a toxic relationship with my mother and 4 fathers. Ya I think I will buy it again as it really helped me but I misplaced it.
Yes sometimes, as in my situation, it is harder to move on from family members, especially a parent who hurt you. I have managed to move on tho and forgive. Forgiveness is the easy part, but the healing of the memories is the hard part. But there is a ministry for healing memories at Church. Anyway Jesus is my Rich Relative and church has helped me so much to overcome family problems. Church is my family now and I've met a lot of friends there, that are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I've re-claimed my life and overcome my problems with Jesus' help. I've relinquished my mother to God's care and I give all my worries to God 1 peter 5:7.
Even though I've moved on from my mother, I still naturally think about her from time to time and question why she abused me and wished I'd had a loving, nurturing mother like most have. I'm not a computer or robot, I will always think about my mother from time to time. I've cut the apron strings though, so to speak.
Thank you for your wise and caring counsel dear @girl99. Take great care.x
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
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