Attachment with treating team?

Hi @Emma11,

I have BPD too and I get attached to psychologists really quickly and don't like to end or swap. I think it may be more intense with people you work with intimately becuase you share so much of yourself and your life. GPs are more of a quick visit and an overview which is why you (and I) don't get as attached to them.

Don't panic about your dietician being pregnant until it's confirmed, and if it is, tell her and see if she can help you transition to a new dietician. That might help.

Remember, this time you are are more prepared than last time. You know how you may react and you can prepare and minimise the negative feelings and effects. There will be others who will have some strategies for you as well. Hope you're feeling okay.

Hi @Emma11 welcome to Sane.

You are not alone with feeling grief when parting with a professional whom has been supportive and kind to us. You have formed a special bond with her and that's why you are feeling it on a deeper level. It's natural as when we find someone we "click with", who gets us and we feel we can trust, it makes us feel safer, more confident, understood and less vulnerable, less alone in the world - and when they leave it's like having the rug pulled from under our feet and we feel vulnerable again and unstable again. And such a parting can induce anxiety and feelings of loss - it takes time to adjust when they leave but somehow we manage to do so.

There have been quite a few forum members who have felt this way. @Phoenix_Rising comes to mind and she and others may be able to share their experiences and feelings with you on this as well.

Hi @Emma11, Welcome to Forum Land.

You are definitely not the only person who experiences this. I have BPD and I have very significant attachment-related issues. I was with the same psychologist for sixteen years. The relationship was actually very abusive (he was routinely verbally abusive and occassionally physically violent). However, since finally getting away from him in July 2015, I now feel that if I had the time over, I would never have left him because he at least stayed. He always told me that he was the only one who would stay, and thus far he has been proven right as I am now in the process of searching for my thirteenth therapist since that time. This therapist shopping adventure has been horrific, but survivable with a LOT of support from people here in Forum Land and the guys at SANE. However, I know I simply would not have survived this process 15 - 20 years ago. I recognise now that despite the abusive nature of the relationship, knowing that I could count on Fred (not his real name) to be there was a massive factor in helping me to stay alive.

I am also still grieving very deeply for my uni counsellor after graduating two years ago. And when one of the community managers left Forum Land a few months ago, I descended into chaos (which the guys at SANE superly duperly helped with). So yep, I grieve long and deep for those rare individuals that I connect well with. I know that for me, this is in part the BPD attachment-related issues, but it is also a product of the objective reality that there are very few people who I can actually communicate effectively with. Thus, in that context, I don't consider it all that strange that having found someone I can communicate with, it is crushing to lose them again.

So...that was all a very long-winded way of saying that you are not alone in forming intense attachments to people in your treatment team. To me, whether you experience this or not (like with your GP) is simply a product of the nature of the relationship. My current GP is the only one I have ever had who has taken any interest in my mental health. Prior to that, I had zero connection with any GP and thus it would have been irrelevant to me if they had left.

I hope to see you around in Forum Land.