what a horrible day

Thats okay @outlander it wasnt mean at all

i am just really done with myself wasting away.. feeling like i dont matter.. getting nothing done etc.

I still dont get how to get more people reading my threads.

Seeing other people at uni who are happy and holidaying and working and having good social lives etc gets to me..like why cant i have that..

I feel like the good days are over now.

The positives?

I dunno. I dont think i have many atm. The only thing i can think of is uni and co pleting that. Because i didnt think i would get to sydney uni because of my ATAR marks.

Thats a small thing though.

Hey @MDT, just reading this thread in its entirety now. I think you are an extremely intelligent person and I always like touching base with you. I am sorry to read all these negative thoughts have you hooked up in them. Often when we have such negative thoughts and emotions overwhelming us, it is hard to see the forest for the trees so to speak. I am guessing why it is a little difficult to see the positives right now. You have to believe they are there though, it's just a matter of unhooking the negative thoughts and emotions and the positives will shine through. Easier said than done though, I know.

I've forgotten whether or not you see someone from student services for your mental health. Often they are masters students doing their clinical placement with supervision, but they are just as good, be rest assured. Perhaps working with them to help devise ways you can unhook the negative thoughts would help you? Of course, everyone here on the Forum will be there to support you too.

Hey @Queenie

I am on the verge of giving up on getting help from other sources

Currently I see my psych and i also take meds.

I just struggle each day way too much. It's hard to be doing things every day.

I really struggle to see positives in my life, despite what people tell me.

I hate the way I feel. I feel gross and guilty. Like I am undeserving as well.

We are getting into hotter months now and I hate that. I will definitely be feeling more on edge.

I hear you about the hotter months @MDT, I always feel more on edge during Spring and Summer too. It is like I have seasonal affective disorder in reverse or something.

You must have had some truly horrible experiences with trying to get some professional support because you said you are on the verge of giving up getting help from other sources. How do you feel about that? I know myself would feel a mixture of emotions from angry to helplessness and sadness.

Hi dear @MDT,

You are so special, I can see this. You are a beautiful person. We all are. Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself. God loves you. You are precious in God's sight Isaiah 43:4.

Hey @Shaz51, You are special too and really beautiful.

@MDT, you've done so well to be doing a degree at university. You are so clever and a brilliant person to be accepted in a degree program at Uni.

Get some rest, and think on ' the good things' or positives dear @MDT. Try saying some positive affirmations to yourself and start believing that you are a good person. Check self-tape and negate any bad words you say to yourself.

@MDT I think you need to cut yourself some slack and also give yourself some credit — two things I am terrible at doing for myself.

Sometimes it helps to think about yourself as someone else. So, if you met someone, just like you, facing the mental health issues that you are facing, someone about to finish their degree in spite of those issues, would you bag them out for having a bad day? Or for not having their whole future figured out? Or for struggling? You wouldn’t. You’d be compassionate. You’d be able to see the positives and achievements of that person. Somehow we have to cultivate some self-compassion. (If I figure out how, I’ll let you know!)

I don’t usually post on the forums much, but the doesn’t mean I don’t read your posts or that I’m not interested. I have crippling social anxiety, even online. I also beat myself for participating. (Yep, I just generally can’t win.)

Speaking of other things I’m hopeless at, try not to set unrealistic goals for yourself, or too many. We need to rein in our unrelenting standards. Sometimes we really do just have to focus on getting through one day at a time, or one hour or minute at a time. We would allow that for someone else who was struggling, so why not ourselves? Sometimes we have to give ourselves credit for making it through the day because that in itself can be a huge achievement.

Keep posting here, @MDT. We do care.

Oh, and I really struggle with hot weather too.

@MDT. Wow you are really beating yourself up today. I don't see there being anything wrong with having a day or two off and just resting, doing nothing. they are our selfcare days. I personally am taking them every week, while I'm trying to get over my last Depressive episode.

You have 1 more month to go on your study. You can manage that. You sound like you have a lot of strength. Just that you can't see or feel it today. But it is definately there.

Just focus on the end of your course. that's all. You can wory or think about work once your study has finished. One thing at a time. Take it easy on yourself.