MDTSenior Contributor
what a horrible day
can't take this anymore... i need help!
@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Shaz51@soul
idk who else to tag..
help me please 😞
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what a horrible day
498 replies
In response to: what a horrible day
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
Hi @MDT,
I felt really sad when I read what you said about feeling you are not a man because you are a virgin. I think that says so much about how hyper-sexual our society is. Our society is obsessed with sex. There was a time when it was considered shameful to have sex outside of marriage. Now it seems there is a sense of shame in not having had sex. I do not understand this at all. It would never enter my head to judge someone based on their virginity or lack thereof. Indeed, it would never enter my head to question someone about whether they are a virgin or not. However, I totally get how this would come up in conversation amongst young men (and probably young women too).
I can hear how much you are struggling with the fact that you are a virgin and I know that no words I say are going to make a difference to that. However, I'm still going to say it just for the heck of it; you are absolutely definitely no less of a man because you are a virgin.
In response to: what a horrible day
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
@Phoenix_Rising i remember going through high school alot of people all they talked about was sex relationships one night stands and associated sexual acts. It disgusts me that is a big topic. Sure sex is a normal part of life but it shouldnt define who you are for having or not having it.
If someone aged came up to me and said they were a Virgin it wouldnt bother me. Who knows what their life experiences were that either stopped/prevented them or they chose not to.
Its something that bothers me too tbh but in time im sure someone will come around.
If someone aged came up to me and said they were a Virgin it wouldnt bother me. Who knows what their life experiences were that either stopped/prevented them or they chose not to.
Its something that bothers me too tbh but in time im sure someone will come around.
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
@Phoenix_Rising @outlander both of the points you raise are good ones. But as you said Phoenix, this day and age is essentially the opposite of what it used to be. The feeling less of a man stems from this for sure. I've thought about it recently and i think it's because of the influence certain individuals have had on me growing up after school finished. I had so much religious crap forced at me in high school about sex being only for marriage etc. Then i no longer am religious because of the negative impacts it had on me and my mental health.
I will eventually no longer be one but for now it just plagues my mind... curiousity mixed with low self worth.. but ive seen first hand the attitude of mainstream society and how it isnt good for people to view one another as objects.
There is so much stigma towards virginity. But i guess when people find out that i am they are sometimes surprised. Then i get the whole 'tall guys have it easy' crap.
But the problem for me is the image perception people have of virgins. You get judged. That doesn't help anxiety. What i also realise is that i would need understanding about my anxiety before sex. Or else I would be particularly nervous and or concerned..
I just hate it really... i hate being an exception to the norm in so many aspects
I will eventually no longer be one but for now it just plagues my mind... curiousity mixed with low self worth.. but ive seen first hand the attitude of mainstream society and how it isnt good for people to view one another as objects.
There is so much stigma towards virginity. But i guess when people find out that i am they are sometimes surprised. Then i get the whole 'tall guys have it easy' crap.
But the problem for me is the image perception people have of virgins. You get judged. That doesn't help anxiety. What i also realise is that i would need understanding about my anxiety before sex. Or else I would be particularly nervous and or concerned..
I just hate it really... i hate being an exception to the norm in so many aspects
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
I know there is probably no point suggesting that you try to relax about it @MDT ..... and I don’t intend it to be invalidat8ng in any way ..... it’s just that it’s probably the same for most people in that sex involves a degree of intimacy, even if for some people that is just in the moment and the6 don’t feel any need to wrap a relationship around it.
Intimacy requires some sort of sense of feeling safe or secure .... again, that can be aided and abetted by alcohol, but rather than stressing about it, I think you will find at some point in the future you happen across someone who you grow into specialness with ..... at that leads to the sense of safety and security that in turn leads to a myriad of other special relationship experiences, inclusive of sex .....
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
How is everyone today?
I don't really know about any of your own forums (or how to find them) so i thought i would ask via this one
@outlander@Faith-and-Hope@Phoenix_Rising@Former-Member@Shaz51@soul@Former-Member
In response to: what a horrible day
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
@MDT one way to find threads is on your phone go to 'your profile' and it actually brings up all the threads your on anf the ones with the most recent activities otherwise you can just flick through the forum categories and also notifications come up on the threads your active on.
Atm im cooling down my anger then progressing hopefully to the next step im working on with figuring out my options
How has your day been?
Atm im cooling down my anger then progressing hopefully to the next step im working on with figuring out my options
How has your day been?
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
My main story is on C-forum rather than LE-forum @MDT ..... can tag you from there if you like ..... if you like a long read .... lol
Thanks for asking ..... 🌿
In response to: what a horrible day
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
Can u tag me @Faith-and-Hope
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
Sure @outlander ....
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
Unknown userMember
Re: what a horrible day
Hi @MDT hope you are good today.
I write all mine in a thread called Darkness Surrounds Me under Somethings not Right.
