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Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 10:24 am AEDT

Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Hello
I am new to the forums.
I have been having difficulty dealing with a nasty woman who has been causing trouble in my friendships for the last year.
We were friends for awhile before I saw through her and realised she was using me and going around me to get close to my close friends and excluding me.
I tried to fix the problem by talking it through with her but she has continued to undermine me since.
She is a part of my larger social circle and every time I have tried to avoid her by joining different groups she has followed me and wooed my new friends on facebook and pushed me out.
A few of my close friends see what she has been doing but don't stick up for me as they are scared of being the next target or feeling uncomfortable. Others think I am being paranoid because she is so subtle they don't see what she is up to.
She has now managed to make friends with a male friend of mine who is very important to me and has told him something about me that has caused him to turn on me. I feel like she has been gaslighting me. It has caused me so much anxiety that it has triggered my auto immune disease and I have been off work all week. I am starting to doubt myself.
Any advice would be very welcome...

22 replies

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In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 2:10 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Yeah @CheerBear
I think she gets away with it because nobody believes that anybody would be that sneaky
It doesn't make sense to me or most people because we don't think that way
I truly believe she has been on a sneaky campaign to destroy me since I saw through her and unfortunately she knows just how to do it because I confided in her when I thought she was a friend and she knows who and what is important to me
She is a very skilled enemy
I really hope people start to see who she really is but I'm not holding my breath......I wish I could stand up to her better
It's been great chatting.....hopefully I can listen when you need support too
Cheers 😊

In response to: Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

CheerBearSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 2:30 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

That's horrible to think that trusting her has somehow turned against you @GentleSoul 😞

I have to head off soon to pick up my kids from school. It has been great chatting and thank you 🙂

The good morning thread that you have been on is a great social thread (that goes way beyond the morning). Also there is this chatty thread here too which is another nice social spot if you're wanting to get to know some more people this afternoon (or any time).

Hope to bump in to you again soon!

🙂

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 2:33 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Thanks so much #CheerBear
Sorry that pist double up....I didn't think it weny through the first time...
You have been very thoughtful and kind....let me know if I can return the favour anytime...
Chat soon on the social threads
Bye 😊

In response to: Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 3:18 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Hello @GentleSoul

I can relate to your idea of a gentle soul in a warrior woman!

I also have a similar person in my life. I have posted about her. She is an over privileged 80 yo, my son and I have known for 5 years.

The best I can suggest is to withdraw as much needed for physical health but not COMPLETELY. That is maintain some presence despite it all. For me it is still a work in progress.

I have never heard of bitchcraft before. It is sad when women go against each other.

Glad @CheerBear was there for you.

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 3:30 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Hello @Appleblossom
Thanks for your reply
Sorry to hear you have been having the same trouble.....it's awful stuff to deal with
It is such a pity some women undermine others
I have difficulty trusting women now....it's even hard to point out the nasty girlie stuff they do because it's disguised and not obvious....and just makes us look like we are being nasty....
I think you are right that I shouldn't withdraw completely but I need to for now I think...
I am a gentle sensitive person but I think I need some warrior woman skills too
Cheers GentleSoul

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 4:04 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Thank you so much @CheerBear and @Appleblossum
It is so great to feel heard and understood and supported
I have been so distressed about this all week....I felt like I was going to explode...
Take care
Love GentleSoul

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Shaz51Senior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Hello @GentleSoul

you wrote -- "I pray that others see her for what she is but it may not happen" this usually happens until it is too late , you have tried my friend , sometimes it comes to a point where you can not do anymore and to hope and pray that your friend finds out sooner than later

I have lost my friends because of my husband`s MI , so i feel for you

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Thanks @Shaz51
My attempts to convince people of what she's up to have made things worse....so better to keep quiet about her now and hope the truth will come out eventually
I now feel like I have lost credibility....
Cheers

In response to: Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Shaz51Senior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 6:02 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

hello @GentleSoul

I like to add , don`t forget your friend , does your friend still keep in touch with you ?? sorry if you have written this earlier to @CheerBear, @Appleblossom

In response to: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

GentleSoulSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 6:07 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

@Shaz51
We have texted a little but he is upset and needs some space so I haven't been able to talk to him or find out what was said...which is really frustrating because I can't defend myself
He said sorry and that further down the road he can be a friend....so just trying to leave it up to him....which is so hard because I just want to talk it through and fix it...

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