Struggling with somebody sabotaging my social life

Found it @GentleSoul. This is where lots of people do start out posting, so you've done well 🙂

Sorry to hear you're having trouble with this person. It sounds like a really tricky situation. I think I'd be feeling really uneasy with it all, especially given it seems other's can't see what's happening, and those who do don't know how or don't seem to want to support you with it.

I would have first suggested you speak with her, but it seems like you've done that and it didn't help. What about speaking with your male friend and letting him know how awful you're feeling about this all? Have you asked for the advice from your friends who can see what's happening?

I don't really have groups of friends so I don't know if I can give any advice except to say that it seems like now is a really good time to practice looking after yourself. Anxiety and stress can be really hard going in lots of ways, as it seems you're experiencing. What things do you enjoy doing that don't involve your friends? Finding things that I enjoy on my own, and that interest me, helps me feel better in lots of ways.

I'm hearing how hard it might be for you at the moment, and how horrible it might feel that someone is undermining friendships you clearly value.

Hi @CheerBear
Thanks for replying....much appreciated
My male friend is upset....he doesn't want to talk at the moment.....I thought he understood the situation but now thinks he's been dragged into an issue between two women.....
I have tried staying away from her and I have tried being brave and still turning up to things but she is everywhere I go now...
I am really disappointed in my close friends as I think if they had defended me when it first started she msy have backed off. They are scared of being the next victim and scared of feeling uncomfortable
I think the only thing I can do is stay away from everybody....which means I lose my whole social life
I am goings on a women's wellness retreat this weekend so hoping that might help me to get my power back....

I am so frustrated
I don't know what she said to him so I don't even get the chance to defend myself
He said sorry but wants some space....
It's tough not getting my say
The whole situation is so unfair
She is so sneaky and nasty but so good at hiding it
I think all I can do is bow out in defeat

@CheerBear
In a just world she would be exposed for the mischief she has been doing and I would be validated but it looks like that is not to be.....unfortunately
It's still very raw at the moment but I am hoping to be able to put it all behind me....my body goes into hyper anxiety mode and it takes a long time to calm down.....thanks for taking the time to talk to me

That really does seem like a horrible situation for you @GentleSoul. Being faced with what seems like a choice to tolerate something that is not ok for you (and rightly so), or have to withdraw yourself from your social life - that's something I think many people would find really hard.

I lost most of my friends not too long ago, under different circumstances, but it hurt a lot because they meant so much to me as it seems yours do to you.

I wonder if there will come a time when others will be able to see it is happening too. It doesn't help you now, but maybe by stepping back for a while (not totally withdrawing), this person will move on to someone else. Is that something you think could happen?

I really liked hearing that you're going away to a reatreat. I'd love to do something like that one day!

Just posted at the same time then @GentleSoul 🙂

My body does hyper anxiety mode too. It's pretty full on and can take a long time to calm down from too. Hearing you there also!

The world can be really unfair and unjust sometimes 😞 I wish there was a way to fix some of those things.

It is really nice to 'meet' you and I'm really happy to hear you've felt welcomed (as I read on the good morning thread). This place can be a great social outlet (as well as other things). It would be good to get to know you some more 🙂

It is so awul #CheerBear
I am gutter that she has come between me and my special friend....I had hopes there for love
She has been scowling at one of my close friends who has been politely rejecting her advances buy she is too scared to even tell anybody except me
Other friends are avoiding me as they don't want to be caught in the middle and I'm sute they think it's all in my imagination
Some of them suggest I should do yoga or meditate...like its something wrong with me
She used to brag at me about her skills with bitchcraft.....she is a piece of work
I was a normal happy bubbly person enjoying her social life until she started this......now I look unstable

Thanks @CheerBear
Yeah....I have Graves disease so any bad vibes or stress leads to adrenal overdrive and it's really dreadful....so I know exactly what you mean....people don't understand
Acupuncture helps me alot with that
With this situation all the things I used to enjoy are now toxic to me as she is there.....I shut down and have an anxiety attack.....can't relax and be my normal self...
I am looking forward to the retreat weekend
I haven't done anything like that before
I will let you know how it goes
I might come back a strong warrior woman....haha

Yeah @CheerBear
I think she gets away with it because nobody believes it.....it doesn't make sense to me or most people because we don't think that way
I truly believe she has been on a sneaky campaign to destroy me since I saw through her and unfortunately she knows just how to do it because I confided in her when I thought she was a friend and she knows who and what are most dear to me...
I pray that others see her for what she is but it may not happen
I am a gentle soul but resilient as well
I would really like to be strong enough to face up to her and not care about the fall out.... mmmm
Thank you