I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@outlanderyou are no tan idiot hun, you did something nice for your sisters.

Are you home now? Can you just rest this afternoon?

Hi @Former-Member

@outlanderI am going to ignore what you said to me first becasue I know it isn't true.

I know how you feel hun, keeping it hidden, embarassment, been there more than once. The pain a constant reminder of what happened.

Just remember that you are going through an extremely rough time atm and just go easy on yourself hun. We all have setbacks and it happens.

You are not putting it on me hun, happy to sit here and listen

exactly @Former-Member it was stupid of me to do in the first place. i know its the wrong thing to do but that seemed like the only option and what was going through my head at the time i guess it was the safest option. this is a pretty big setback. its made me feel worse that i had to go and get help for it. they had no compassion at all- didnt expect it but they tugged i thought it was going to keep coming through the top and that was under numbing.

i really hate myself esp right now. it was a mistake- a very big one

but your taking care of them @Former-Member im not. i was being destructive, thats not helpful or kind or caring at all. if i dont do things with my sisters then i cop the emotional turmoil and that is worse than suture pain so id rather do that. i cant ask mum for money, they need it more than i do. i dont like asking anyway. most of the travelling besides today was from when i dont both jobs. its only been 2 days since i lost it

sorry i missed your msg @MDT

thanks but i really am

@outlanderI understand hun b/c I feel the same way about myself at times. Unfortunately whatever I say probably won't help you feel better about yourself.

So I will say that I do understand and am here to sit with you