I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

No @outlander!think how good you will feel and next session in the night with her you can sleep through it!lol

@outlander That’s fine sis ❤️❤️

You wont have time for any more night sessions @outlander,I will be dropping you 30 KMs from the wombat hole each night to walk back, probably be a lot more therapeutic and cheaper! Lol talk tomorrow 🙋

@outlander I kind of get where she is coming from in regards to routines and what you are capable of doing. You are able to do your job with the horses whenever it is needed - that shows that you are both physically and mentally capable of doing those tasks. You are also still able to look after your pop - so same re: physical and mental capabilities. Even though you do seem to be doing alot for family and outside work - you are still doing it all - so again - same re: physical and mental capabilities.

I would suggest what she is referring to is that you do have the physical and mental capabilities to be performing these everyday tasks as you are infact already doing them. What I see - and have done over a long period now - is what becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for you. That is - you begin to believe in your own negativity even when it isn't there or potentially won't happen. You then begin the downward spiral and cannot pull yourself up out of it. Routines and consistency are a very good way to head these effects of your thinking off before they get too hard to bear.

It may also be a time to reconsider how you connect on the forum. I say this purely from a 'trigger' viewpoint. Even though nights may be more difficult for you - spending too much time on one activity eg the forum, drawing, anything really for extended periods of time - can actually let our brains become 'stale' and less able to cope with triggers and/or things that have an adverse affect on us. You did at one time have your own forum 'curfew' - maybe now is a good time to reconsider this.

I am in no way meaning to say that you should not be on the forum - the exact opposite actually - but a re-defining of what it is you actually need from interactions here and what can help you best. This type of self-evaluation is one that we all must do at stages throughout our lives - and it is never more relevant when we are 'stuck' and cannot find our way out of whatever 'situation' we find ourselves in!

At this point in time - you are stuck @outlander and you do need to do some things for yourself to help yourself out a little. You can look upon this as yet another problem to face or alternatively as a period of growth that may lead to a much brighter future - so in that respect your psychiatrists words mean by doing you are growing - at that is a great thing to accomplish

Oh shite @outlander - just realised there were way more posts after the one I received via email that you @mentioned me. Please do not read that last post of mine tonight - it can wait - argggghhhh!!!!!!!!!

I really hope you get some sleep @outlander Goodnight lil caterpillar