I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

Hi @outlander

I am sorry you are feeling so unwell - you are having such a rough time

And we are very hard to brush off - I guess we understand the way you are feeling even though there is no way we an know how you feel - after all - how can we

I saw something interesting on tv that relates to something you have experienced that you have talked about here and seeing this I understand how hard it is for you to talk about this and how badly you need the specialised therapy that any person needs for this - and also - I know that it is really difficult to find such help and everything

How can I know how you feel about it?

But caring is different - and I care - I get it that you are battling so hard with this at the bottom of everything -

And I don't know where you go to find such help either Outlander but I will look at the internet and see what I can find

All my best thoughts

Dec

thank you for caring @Owlunar its ok, i dont expect you to know how i feel. unfortunalty alot of people do and that is such a shame.

yeah feeling unwell again.. still. ive tried to ignore the pain im in however im not doing a very good job off it and im fighting the urges to OD again so im trying to really fight it out. my gp asked me to document any changes i have within my monthly cycle when it decideds to be monthly. it has been for 2 months in a row now however there is a massive change in pain but i dont know if thats associated with the new unusal pain im feeling but also in volume. it went from regular to super and being filled 4 times a day and thats only today but i dont usually get this heavy or this amount of clots etc so def worth a change and too muhc info for you.. sorry.

its so hot and muddgy here but thankfully a cool change has come so ive opened up all the doors and windows..

i let my sisters decorate the xmas tree today as i really am not in the spirit and the tree isnt what i expected so ive taken in back down it keeps toppling over onto the floor anyway.

i decided to cure some of my anxiety and do a little bit of cleaning. ive completely dont my room and itll get a revamp as i go alon and buy and replace furniture and add accessories in. ive brought a chair to go with my desk and also another lot of bookshelves specifically for my art stuff just waiting on it to come through delivery. ive also brought a bed which i pick up on thursday. which means the only places reminaing to clear up are the fron and backyard. the rest has been done and is spoltess. just the way i like it.

anyway thank you for caring, and i hope your doing ok too. am loggin off again now as i cant handle myself properly, struggling alot more than usual. so tired..