I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

I have beeb attending to some chores around here and I will be going to bed soon

One thing about these two nights in an hotel is that it has given you some space and you have written a lot about the way your thinking works - which I am starting to understand better

So try and sleep yourself - and at least you don't have to worry about anyone else tonight

I will sign off soon

Dec

I am going to bed now @outlander

But I will watch over you for a while unless I fall asleep

You really do care about other people - it seems natural to you - I feel that way too - it took a long time for me to learn to put myself first

You have time

Dec

@outlandersis I am awake, have about 10 minutes to talk before I have to take kids to school

How are you?

Thanks @Owlunar,I know we haven't chatted for awhile.

I have as mentioned had a higher anxiety level past few weeks,think the stress of my mother over winter contributed to it.Im hopeless at getting a job,and the doctor is ready to fill out the carer's due to my mother's health,which has caused me further distress because I feel like my life might as well be over.I feel powerless.I am suffering with intolerance and anger with the anxiety ATM and can't see a future,and that scares the crap out of me @Dec.Many reasons @Owlunar, including her contribution to my breakdown from life through her suffocation.Thnx 🐈

The pain and nightmares seem to be real

what am I suppose to feel

what do I say

when my hopes are fading away

im the walking dead

stuck with these horrid memories inside my head

why cant I move on

why cant I just be normal

even after going above and beyond

im just not good enough

how do you keep fighting when your too tired to continue on.

hugs @outlander, what is happening today? I am assuming you didn't sleep well?