I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@Former-Memberi didnt pay for my drinks. i only had 2 small ones. the first one i bareley touched as i didnt like the taste of it so really only had half if that. i cant think of thos small glasses. not a scooner but not a shot either.

we have a riding school about an hour or so away from me so was going to go there but with the party going on i had no idea what time it was going to finish. it was only a lunch thing but it went for 3 and abit hours

Sounds like it was a great day @outlander. I was thinking of you today and wondering how you were getting along. Happy Birthday!

thanks @Queenie it went as well as it couldve - not to meantion prns and drinks in the mix there!

struggling abit with triggers tonight though but trying not to let it ruin the mood

Sounds like you got P***** @outlander!,I'm not a drinker ,with your medication probably not great idea anyway.

Just watched fireworks from verandah,town festival going on,they must've knew it was your birthday.I was distressed at the same time.... questioning myself, wondering if I need to go to hospital,but knowing it's pointless.

What you drank wouldn't affect you @outlander.My anger and intolerance have been high today with the anxiety.Didnt see doctor yesterday,when I got there he had a emergency,and the receptionist rang a bell later when I was having a coffee to say he was back.I cancelled knowing I'm a waste of time..

Sorry @outlander,fell asleep last night,the walking and high anxiety I've had I'm really buggered,which is triggers the depression.Before I left town on Friday,my mother rang,couldn't find the key to the house that I left where she suggested to leave it and she forgot the conversation.I got stressed and had to park my car in a park and sit there for a while to calm down.I know no one can help me,won't go on medication when my life is hopeless and no life.

Sounds like you are in a good headspace,try and keep it that way too tonight!lol🐺

Sorry @outlander,fell asleep last night,the walking and high anxiety I've had I'm really tired,which is triggers the depression.Before I left town on Friday,my mother rang,couldn't find the key to the house that I left where she suggested to leave it and she forgot the conversation.I got stressed and had to park my car in a park and sit there for a while to calm down.I know no one can help me,won't go on medication when my life is hopeless and no life.

Sounds like you are in a good headspace,try and keep it that way too tonight!lol🐺

Hi @outlander,

I am working at not being in Forum Land over the weekend so this is a super quick flyby to say happy birthday for yesterday. I can hear that the family gathering wasn't perfect, but it sounds like it wasn't so bad either. I think those sorts of situations can be tricky and it's probably a case of the grass always looking greener on the other side of the fence. As you probably recall, I super struggled with the fact that I had absolutely no one here in the real world to celebrate my 40th birthday with. Thus to me, the idea of having family who would bother to come and visit for a birthday sounds amazing. At the same time, I totally get how hard family gatherings can be and I can imagine some people feeling envious of the fact that I was alone on my 40th birthday and thus free to spend it in the way that I chose. Anyway, I hope you are able to have a peaceful post-birthday day today.