outlanderSenior Contributor
I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
I dont know how much longer i can keep going on like this anymore. I feel completely defeated right about now
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I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
5227 replies
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@outlander - how's your pain? Have you got it sorted?
As far as "then what", if option 1 and 2 are your preferred options, but as you've just said - you can't solve the problem, you are left with feeling better about the problem (option 2). You keep doing what you can to "feel better about the problem". In DBT skills terms that means emotion regulation and mindfulness. It means learning how to manage your emotions around the issue. Understanding the role of emotions, identifying and describing them and what they mean for you, managing extreme emotions, and trying to change emotional responses (focusing on positives - not my choice with chronic illness but maybe a thing for you) - that's emotion regulation skills. Mindfulness - means balancing your thoughts and feelings to make "wise" choices and living in the moment effectively (non-judgmentally, experiencing how things really truly are etc.).
I just saw your second post and feel the same with my health stuff.
Option 3 means learning to tolerate that this is how it is. It's that vending machine scenario. It's also working out how to survive the intense and extreme feelings (pain, anger, hopelessness for me etc) that can come with this stuff. I think it's also being able to identify what you do to get through, and learning to do that in a way that really, truly works for you.
Learning to accept things has been soooooo painful for me outlander, and I'm still working on it. Option 3 has skills that I think will be seriously helpful for me and I'll keep my eye out for specific things that might work for you too.
As far as "then what", if option 1 and 2 are your preferred options, but as you've just said - you can't solve the problem, you are left with feeling better about the problem (option 2). You keep doing what you can to "feel better about the problem". In DBT skills terms that means emotion regulation and mindfulness. It means learning how to manage your emotions around the issue. Understanding the role of emotions, identifying and describing them and what they mean for you, managing extreme emotions, and trying to change emotional responses (focusing on positives - not my choice with chronic illness but maybe a thing for you) - that's emotion regulation skills. Mindfulness - means balancing your thoughts and feelings to make "wise" choices and living in the moment effectively (non-judgmentally, experiencing how things really truly are etc.).
I just saw your second post and feel the same with my health stuff.
Option 3 means learning to tolerate that this is how it is. It's that vending machine scenario. It's also working out how to survive the intense and extreme feelings (pain, anger, hopelessness for me etc) that can come with this stuff. I think it's also being able to identify what you do to get through, and learning to do that in a way that really, truly works for you.
Learning to accept things has been soooooo painful for me outlander, and I'm still working on it. Option 3 has skills that I think will be seriously helpful for me and I'll keep my eye out for specific things that might work for you too.
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
I have to get my fishies now @outlander and we've got some stuff on this afternoon. Hope it's been ok enough for you to go through this like this. If isn't please so much say so. It's so seriously important to be able to say when something isn't helpful (i think anyway). We can definitely continue this conversation over time if it is helpful though.
Hope the pain eases up for you
Gotta run!
Hope the pain eases up for you
Gotta run!
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@CheerBear
I have to learn how to accept them i guess thatll come when i learn to manage the emotions surrounding it....
Ill have to find out what works. Its a lifetime thing so no better time to start than now..
How do you learn skills for option 3?
I have to learn how to accept them i guess thatll come when i learn to manage the emotions surrounding it....
Ill have to find out what works. Its a lifetime thing so no better time to start than now..
How do you learn skills for option 3?
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
I said a very similar thing to "that'll come when I learn to manage the emotions surrounding it" recently @outlander - something about how accepting reality is incredibly painful (the learning part itself is painful) and that emotion regulation will be a big part of that for me. I also think you're right in that it is a lifetime thing. It's all a journey of learning and I don't think there will be a single point where I (and I imagine most others too) will be able to say "yep, I now know and do everything all of the time".
As far as how to learn skills, I guess that's the "learn together part". I plan on doing this through participating in the DBT adventure. I am also researching ideas (I have a seriously cool pinterest board happening), and I will/do speak with my psych and mental health worker about it. I also read and listen to lots of different people. Here there are people learning and using acceptance, and tolerating problems all the time. By being here we are exposing ourselves to people getting through it and living with things that Just. Freaking. Suck.
Option 3 also includes short term things that help in the moment. Things like distractions and self-soothing skills. They're things you do often. I think it's also being able to fully experience the emotions of crap happening, in a way that doesn't make the crap worse. And knowing (truly feeling) that those emotions don't last forever in the same way. We really are not built to stay in incredible pain/distress mode for every moment of every day. Another big part of it as far as I understand, is working out exactly what our reality is in a way that isn't clouded by emotions. It's not minimising or catastrophising, or turning 'possibilities' into 'probablities'.
Lots to think about I think.
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Thanks heaps for all that information @CheerBear
Trust you to make a pintrest board lol but whatever works for you.
A work in progress in deed
Thanks again
Trust you to make a pintrest board lol but whatever works for you.
A work in progress in deed
Thanks again
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
You're welcome @outlander. Feel free to tag me if you want to chat about some of that kind of stuff sometime. Can't promise I'll always be able to answer or that I'll have answers, but you understand that I'm sure.
Totally pinterest. Always pinterest 😉
😊
Totally pinterest. Always pinterest 😉
😊
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Thanks @CheerBear ❤
@Former-Member yeah ive hears of those. Its similar to the one i was looking into for my aged care/nursing cert. Where i do work placement but its paid and in a nursing home. Like learning on the job. I mean its good experience but i wouldnt want to work with lazy people either.
Compaints are being made. Being sent all from different places.
No wonder our elderly suicide stats are rising
@Former-Member yeah ive hears of those. Its similar to the one i was looking into for my aged care/nursing cert. Where i do work placement but its paid and in a nursing home. Like learning on the job. I mean its good experience but i wouldnt want to work with lazy people either.
Compaints are being made. Being sent all from different places.
No wonder our elderly suicide stats are rising
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Unknown userMember
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
That's what I'm talking about @outlander,they get government money for work placement.
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@CheerBeardo i use those options to work out the rest of my list as well? and then whatever the option i pick whether it be 1, 2 or 3 work out how to implement them?
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
yeah @Former-Member i have somewhere near me that does that too and was going to do that but with pop not being as well as he can be with up coming tests etc ive put it off. i dont think id want to work in a nursing home though
