I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@outlander

thanks for responding @Shaz51@CheerBear i hit a point of no return no longer after and needed to breathe and whatever the heck this pain in that is near my kidneys is becoming very annoying and that flared up and i forgot to meantion to gp after the session.

what did the GP say @outlander

I have CKD stage 4 as you know xx

ok my friend @outlander, only when you are ready to share , sending you tender hugs

Kidney pain I havent addressed yet

I have pre-diabetes and also PCOS. They suspected this and it has really rattled me and upset me quite a lot.

I have to treat both exactly the same way through lifestyle changes. However to do this a major cause of my weight gain is my anti-depressants. That means in order to loose the weight more successfully, and have a better chance at managing both the PCOS and pre-diabetes which is the most important thing atm is to reduce the amount that im on. I know my mental health has gone to shite, it really has but the best decision or treating these conditions is to reduce this medication and then add one other that I can try however it isnt a regular thing. Its to treat panic attacks and very high levels of axiety. It doesnt help with depression, or mood stabilising. Its simply a calmer and that is all and can only be taken once a day but could also send me to sleep so I have to watch that through the day as ill need to work.

The weight loss tablet is designed for insulin levels so im to stay on those for the next few months until everything is a lot more sustainable.

For periods the insulin tablets they are hoping to regulate those better and hoping to control acne better as well as having a good quality pore cleansing routine which she has given me a presciption to try for that as well. It takes a while to do as after half hour gotta wash it off again but could be worht it. Pretty much with a better and healthier lifestyle which inlcudes reducing my stress levels- she said that is the major thing as well. Things can be managed.

Internal exam went a lot smoother this time. They checked inside and its pretty much healed up however they said that theres an infection there so on Abs for that atm. I asked what was it caused from since I have a good hygeine resigme and she said one big factor is stress causing everything to go out of whack and she also said that because of the PCOS causing lack of periods and things theres no natural 'cleansing' so allows more germs to get in there and cause havoc which would explain a few symptoms

Fertility- if and when the time comes we will talk more options but she has also said that itll be hard work if thats what I wanted but wait till the time comes for that.

So right now im abit shocked and not really sure how to take it. More shocked and cant really process and accept it. Its a lot to take in. i have no more words. ive already had a breakdown afterwards, but i need to try and keep calm as im terrifired of having another one of those panic attacks that put me in hospital

@Shaz51@CheerBear@Owlunar@Former-Member@Sans911 @Former-Member@Bunniekins (sorry, no need to reply at all just tagging those who have been following the past few days)

its not fair @CheerBear 😞 i dont even know what else to say. i think this emoji covers it