Glad your son has worked out his course. its a big thing the breathing. A lot of us have interrupted breathing patterns from stress. Thats is why singing helps me. I used to do laps ... but sometimes it just is the situation.
God you have a lot on ... but that is the way of it.
Your joke about the tushy .... I so so so so needed to hear that ...
Unfortunately my oldest DI was never allowed to be told "no" or limited or disciplined in anyway. It was not good for her or for the younger ones. Then she had her access with her mother ... but that was rarely overnight and stopped for about 8 years ... so I was the boob who did it all the dirty work ... and sadly ... I was no perfect mum .. but i simply dont respect her any more ...
I lost my temper with her less than dozen times which is pretty good for 16 years ... but she needed a firm hand. I know what that means ... but at the time wasnt allowed to even approach the thought of a limit ...
When my D1 and D2 were in high schoool I tried to keep a busy atmosphere and do all chauffeuring thing ... but neck was serious ... I tried to have birthday parties etc ... but I was just harrowed mother ... so I booked rollerskate place for DI's 16th before I left ... still it was more than my sibs and I got. I didnt like to normalise all the hissy fits and bitchiness. Still dont .. D2 never got a 15th or 16 th and DI managed to have her 21st and dominate D2's 21st
DI won Mercy champion in primary school. Its a culture that creeps me out .. kids in orphanages werent like that ... I was only in them for 2 years ... and didnt see it ... might be with older ones ... so nice middle class girls ... dont get my respect for that kind of thing ... and here I am talking about the whole class .. cos it was a group thing not just my step/foster ... she was good at it ... well practised ... but not her idea ... I dont think.
They were also too bitchy for D2 who in the end went off to a nerdy school (was like me) were people actually did productive things and played games and studied.
The area I lived with the girls ... was full of Mac mansions .. 2 working parents... and undersupervised kids.
Actually when I left and moved where i am now .. the insurance rate went down as the burglaries were less ... the parents showed up to school nights and there was a better vibe in the playground .. though it was not as ritzy.
But the girls did not come with me after separation. DI came to access for 6 months ... as in had 2 mums and did access with both ... but she was always giving me grief and getting son to play up and laugh at me ... that is how sadists are created .. so I asked her to behave and she never came again ... it was better that way. There would have been more death .. even if it was unintentional I was not really well (physical pain) enough to be behind a wheel.
D2 went to live with my mother was she had students from La Trobe and teens actually did homework.
So we juggled the 3 children between 3 separate households ... including with the American aunt vice-principal. Who also wanted companions to help her get over her divorce ... 18 months of my girls .. helped .. I actually liked the aunt ... she was teacherly like me ... her idiot brother ... my ex .. hated teachers ... and was always going on about those who cant ...teach ...
what a crazy world we live in.
Gee it was good not to drive for 6 months.
Step mothers ought to be allowed to kick their step daughters in the tush sometimes. Especially if they did all the nappies, colic, teething, tantrums.
We joined the step parent association towards the end of the marriage .. and the 2 lovely ladies alerted me to the fact that my ex preferred to flirt with them rather than face up to proper parenting ... go figure.
Thanks for letting me talk about my girls. @Faith-and-Hope
