Thanks for letting us know you're safe @Former-Member, just working through things.
It means a lot ❣
What I was talking about before with your baby dragon is connectivity. They need to work it out a bit .... and this next statement is highly pertinent ....
There is a world of difference between 18yo and 21yo ....
I know you have raised three other sons ahead of this one, but perhaps you haven't had the space in your life to zero in on this particular point. It took me a while to catch up with it, in the chaos of what we've got going on ....
When our kids arrived at 18yo, we considered them adults, as is the fashion in our era. Perhaps it is because our eldest was always quite mature for his age, and an inrptrovert, this seemed to suit well enough ... later I realised that being the eldest of five kids under 10yo, with a disabled sibling amongst them and all the other extenuating life circumstances we were faced with had contributed to that sense of maturity ....
Our twins are less that two years behind S1, so they turned 18 ahead of him turning 21, but once he had turned that corner, I realised he had leaped ahead of them. When D1 came to that magic age, she leaped ahead too. I am now seeing that difference in S2, and it is revealing how deeply in that state - your S4's state - my D3 is in .... the feeling invisible, not feeling their wings yet, feeling a bit empty and directionless.
It goes with the emotional landscape of this age-group.
And all the experiences the kids have trevassed, as off the beaten path as they may seem, will feed back into their character as strength ....
You know why ?? Because despite all the mi issues you have been struggling with ... and despite the somewhat recent let-down you suffered with your ex, and despite the early abandonment by their biological dad, you my dear are all heart and soul ....
Your boys know it, and respect it, and love you for it. You have supplied them the most powerful of life's tools even though you might feel otherwise. Just ask them sometime.
You know how I know ?
One of your boys is travelling. Independently and studying overseas in a way only a well-grounded son of that age can. ✅
Another one has knitted out the garage at the end of your home and asked to move back in with his girlfriend. ✅
Your brother has helped you have a house ✅
Your youngest is prepared to tell you how he feels ✅
Just keep doing what you're doing as a parent, and be there for your son. He will talk to you in the companionship of your relationship and work out the bumps in the road. You will know between you if you need a psych or someone else in the equation.
❤️🌷❤️
