Night Shift

I am glad you are feeling better this morning @hope77.

Please consider marriage counselling ahead of throwing in the towel .... many men, despite behaving obnoxiously, are blind-sided when their wife decides to leave because they really didn't think it was that bad .... then they're left with the impression that she left for no real reason ....

Let the marriage counsellor tell him where it's at. At least that way if he chooses not to do anything towards fixing it, he can't fall back onto saying he didn't understand why.

So many couples who divorce say in hindsight that they wish they had tried harder. I like to believe I have given something my best shot before I walk away. Then there is no room for self-criticism over the decision later, knowing that I couldn't have done more to try to fix it.

Even if he won't consider attending counselling, he still can't say that he didn't realise there was something that wrong that you would leave.

Counsellors try to help you to work out the issues, but they also support you in a decision to leave if they can see you have tried everything, or you welfare is seriously compromised.

I hope that helps.

🌷

Thanks for the thoughts, @Faith-and-Hope. The haircut today is partly in preparation for having photo taken for profile on Friday. Will re-dye it too before then. I know you don't do that and admire your stance really. If my hair was all white underneath I'd go for it but it's kind of white on top and dark salt and pepper at the back. Tried for a while to let it go back to nature a while ago but couldn't live with it. Vanity remains despite everything! Which reminds me, I might try to get some washing on today too so I've got the clothes I want to wear on Friday too. I always remember a drug counsellor telling me about a friend of hers who had been a heavy drug addict. That friend claimed that her vanity saved her life because she couldn't bear the way the drugs were making her look. A lot of things we tend to damn have their silver lining it seems. Don't know how I got onto that really, but that's what came off the top of my head this morning!

@Mazarita

Sounds good to me !!

Went out yesterday in my walking clothes, just changed to a pair of boots .... thought I looked 🌵, but someone paid me a compliment .... go figure .... ❣

Hope you enjoy the pampering, and yes, clothes are important ..... 😆

Will be thinking of you on Friday 🌷

Yes, clothes are important to some degree at least, @Faith-and-Hope (say I in my 'pajama' track suit bottoms, t-shirt and fluffy dressing gown).

@Mazarita

Hahaha .... I went to bed in clothes last night ... but while WH is away I am tending to live in leggings and t-shirty type things that can pass for pj's anyway, and just wash and change when I feel like I need to be freshened up a bit ....

I reckon my kids will have noticed, so if I was seriously looking like I was living out of shopping bags in an alley somewhere, they would be telling me and pushing me around about getting cleaned up and looking more respectable ....

Hasnt happened yet .... so I'm staying with this formula for the moment ....

😊

Awesome, @Faith-and-Hope. I still remember that story about going out in what you wore to bed the night before and just throwing on a cardy and jazzing it all up a bit. You clearly have very good taste in pjs to get away with it and I admire your guts in many ways! With the clothes, I'm mostly about comfort but try to find things that also look as good as possible and are inexpensive enough for my budget (which often means op shop or second hand online). Slowly building up a modest wardrobe has been part of getting me out of my lowest of lows, where it really did get to the point where I was just wearing very old and ill fitting clothes that looked like rags when I looked at myself in the mirror. Wasn't a good place to be and kept me inside even more than I was inclined really. Recovery has a lot of different angles to it.

@Faith-and-Hope, thanks for the chat. I'm going to head back for a bit more sleep. I've only had a couple of hours overnight. Then hopefully out into the world later today. Hope all goes well for you with your various activities today. Enjoy the foot massage!

hey everyone, am somewhat embarrassed by saying my marriage is over but that's what it felt like last night and early this morning. Finally, husband opened up to me and we talked it out for the last 2 hours. set some new rules to our relationship feel a whole lot better thanks for listening to me. Going away for a couple of days I'll catch up with all of you then. Big hugs to you all. Stay safe

Hi @hope77, great news that things have been resolved with your husband. No need to feel embarrassed about what you said last night. Many of us will have had the experience in relationships of feeling certain that things were at an end at times. It's a great thing when we are in a mutually loving relationship, we are still able to get past moments like that where all feels lost. Best wishes on your trip away and look forward to seeing you again when you get back.

Hi and thankyou @Faith-and-Hope for reassuring me and making me feel welcome. Ive never liked pushing myself on people and would hate to do so on here. You have all been nice to me, I guess Im still insecure. Need more work on that.

Thanks @Former-Member Yes, it will take a while to get to know everyone, thats for sure. You have all been nice to me, thankyou. xo