Night Shift

Thanks @eth😊 I think that's what I was wondering- the chicken and the egg thing too. I'm just trying to work some of this out.

Hi everyone, another very tired day here today, with a bad headache on top. But I managed to get to my specialist appointment anyway. This one was an ear, nose and throat doctor for throat problems, especially at night. The doctor was exceptionally nice and told me I was doing an awesome job getting down to 6 a day on the smoking from 20 about 4 months ago. Had a test that involved a tube into the nose and down the throat, normally something that might have had me thrashing in trauma, but he did it so well and quickly it was really nothing bad. The ease of it was amazing to me. He did use a numbing spray first and I think that helped a lot. I think it was also just that there was something so kind and reassuring about his manner. Anyway, the good news is the throat problem is just some kind of fairly harmless irritation that may be related to the remaining smoking and/or gastric reflux. So breathing a sigh of relief, as I was scared I might have done something really bad to myself with the smoking there. Still have the headache tonight but feeling better than I was this morning.

@Former-Member, thanks for the callout. The first thing I thought in answer to your question about stress and mood was the same as @eth said: 'chicken and egg'. Thinking about it further though, with the bipolar I find there is a way my moods seem to go up and down of their own accord without much outside stimulation required. Stress pretty much does me in on the whole, which is partly why I too tend to isolate myself from the outside world and keep as calm as possible in my days. Having said that, I do get very manic in my mind when I'm going on the creative activities and also here on the forum at times. Hmmm, I seem to be rambling in relation to your question. I guess I don't have a clear answer. Hope some of this is of use to your thinking.

I am so glad you have got that support in place @Former-Member, and I hope they can help you sort out the "Thursdayitis" thing ... there must be some sort of association there somewhere ....

Writing in different coloured pens migh help you differentiate your moods @Former-Member, if you keep a pencil case or something (I use an attractive coffee cup that is chipped and no longer good for coffee for things like this) full of coloured pens on hand. A flick back through might start to flag you as to what is happening if you define moods and stress moments with particular colours.

Maybe buy some stickers that appeal, and put them onto pages that felt like the day was a good one, or a work ethic stayed in place, etc

All just thoughts .... please let me know if it's too much .... don't want to overwhelm you with suggestions ....

Hi @eth 🌺

Good to see you surfacing again.

How are the kids going ? Glad you get some phone time with your mum too. If my brain is working properly, I think that is what you mentioned last night ? ....

Hi @Faith-and-Hope It was Mazarita talking to her Mum last night but I do have good chats with mine. She's in Brisbane and I'm near Darwin so we see each other rarely. It took us many years but these days we have a pretty good relationship. And my adult child is doing fairly well with hubby and my delightful grand-daughter. I had a 2 hour skype with them on Saturday. They're in Canberra. They lost a close friend suddenly in a car crash a few weeks ago so they still get pretty sad at times but the little one keeps them busy.

How are your mob going?

Hi @Mazarita good to hear you are reassured after your appointment today. That must be such a relief. I hope your headache settles down.

So sorry your headache is giving you grief @Mazarita but happy for you that the specialist appointment went so well. I can understand being stressed with that type of testing. Thanks for your response. It really helps me when I can talk to everyone on here who lives with some similarities to help make it real and find connections. One of the things I've put together is that every week has got worse than the last since I moved into this house so I think I had been trying to cover up all the stress but it had been backfiring. Anyway enough about me. I hope your headache subsides. Take care, hugs💜😊

Hi @eth, I've been back a couple of pages into the thread but I haven't been able to catch up with all the messages here since last we spoke. Too many to go through. How have you been since our chat last night?

Ok thanks @Mazarita just another quiet day at home for me after a better than average sleep. Have a friend dropping in early tomorrow to pick up mail and have breakfast so that should be good. How did your blogging go?

@eth ..... so sorry to hear your kids lost their friend .... that's tough ..... it's actually good to be very busy with little ones in those moments though .... it keeps you focused on their needs and their chatter and laughter is soothing and healing in the moment as well.

My mob are essentially staying out of trouble at the moment ...

We got through D3's 18th, although my organisation of it left quite a npbut to be desired .... all the brain-drain and drama of this last year have taken a toll, and we sort of slid in sideways .... but it happened, and it was fine over all, and special, which is all you need it to be ....

S2's 21st is the next thing coming up fast .... and the organisation for that is sloppy again .... but I can't seem to do better at the moment .... have ended up sending out invitations while the underlying arrangements are only half-baked .... trusting that we will pull it together in time. I actually have more outside help going on with this one. Just as well. My energy levels aren't stable, and the younger kids particularly are still quite unmotivated. It's the stress back-wash while my hubby is away, and he is still away a lot - a necessary safety valve at the moment.

The wedding is around the corner after that, but thankfully D1 has got her full mojo on and is driving that forward beautifully. That will, in part, be her answer to the fact that we can't get hubby to a place of treatment yet. She's keeping herself mighty busy, and throwing the attention on her wedding, which is where it should belong.

Not surprised if you can't keep up with all this .... skim read .... it's okay 😊

I didn't get into the exhibition I submitted for, but his has had a profound affect on my wayward hubby ... it has broken into his self-focused cocoon somehow .... he is stunned that my work wasn't accepted and the comparison with what was accepted has sent him into a bit of a spin. I am hoping this is a positive .... a break-through of some kind ....

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, so wonderful you saw the dolphins today. Makes me happy just thinking about it. 🙂

@eth, the blogging went well but I wrote so intensely, I think I brought this headache on myself today. Have posted it on the net, to a little bit of interest. Nothing to equal the effort that went into it but that's okay. I do these things for their own sake in the main anyway. Glad you have a friend dropping by tomorrow. 🙂