Night Shift

It seems strange that it's happened straight after you went away @eth. I wonder if just changing your body clock while you were away has thrown things out a bit. I really have no knowledge of bipolar but just throwing it out there. I hope it readjusts by itself in the next few days. Having said that camping for 4 or more nights is exhausting. It would take me more than a week to recover. I hope the psych ends up being good. Mine is a clinical social worker, she is a leader in her therapy here.

@eth, was there anything that happened while you were away that bothered you, or that could have fed into these current feelings of depression? Alternatively, could it be that you feel let down by being at home after the trip away? I know you struggled with feelings of emptiness when your visit from family was over a while ago. How are things with your mum? Just throwing a few thoughts around to see if there's anything that could help explain why you are feeling as you do just now, other than quite natural physical exhaustion. I think that can take more of a toll on us as we get older. The event sounded great but I would not have coped with at all well with camping in those conditions. Perhaps there was a dehydration aspect? Are you drinking enough water? Sorry about all the questions! This reminds me of when I used to try to get to the bottom of some of my own depressions and the list of possible reasons seemed to be endless. Probably not much help, but I am thinking of you.

It must be hard to be stuck on the lows @eth. I feel for you😊💜

If you go into your own personal settings there is a page that helps you control your subscriptions from the sane forum. When I was spending too much time on the forum, I changed my settings to weekly. That way I might be late but I would respond to anything. I did manage to scroll through all the mentions etc in ONE convenient email rather than lots.

Even putting it on daily digest helped me manage the time I spent on the forum.

Thanks @Mazarita and @Former-Member

I did have a fair bit of anxiety at night while out there and also my friend I went with is a psych nurse and stated at one stage that she believes anyone with mental health problems can choose to live well-managed without medication. (I was pretty floored by this). I said 'even something like bipolar 1?' (which she knows I have) and she said 'yes'. I just didn't reply. It's been echoing on me since. I wouldn't make that choice as I can't risk being manic to the point of psychosis ever again, but can't help wondering if she judges me. If we weren't such close friends in so many other ways I would probably not have contact with someone who said that. Tricky situation. I was actually quite relieved to be at home again. And dehydration was not an issue, we are very conscious of water intake here in the heat.

Mum is good, the Advanced Health Directive is done now and the rest of her legal stuff I have said is up to her and not something I want responsibility for.

Thanks for thinking of so many possibilities @Mazarita.

@Appleblossom that makes sense, but would it work if people are mentioning me and the tag isn't working?

@eth,

I would feel very let down by a friend who said that kind of thing to me too and I could definitely go into a downswing if I ruminated about it. I suspect some of my friends do hold opinions along those lines but I usually put it down in my mind to a degree of ignorance. Then, as you say, I go on with the friendship because they are worth it in other ways. But it would be harder in the situation of your friend being a psych nurse. Ignorance is not really a reasonable excuse in that case. I find it hard to fathom how she could say something like that, to be honest. Such a hard and really quite unforgiving stance to take for someone in a caring profession. But I think it is her problem and not yours. It's what you believe that really matters. I understand how some creeping doubts might be there in relation to this though and how these could feed a depression.

Really glad to hear things have improved in relation to your mother.

I'm really sorry that you had anxiety whilst away @eth. I would feel really disappointed with my friend for making that call too. I'm gathering she doesn't have bipolar1. I'm not saying she's not a good friend but I can see how that would hurt. You are the only one who knows you @eth. I think many health professionals, even good friends, forget the person who knows and understands you best is you. I would imagine that she isn't really trying to judge you as such but more thinks she knows what is best for you. You have to go with what you feel is right. I don't know if this helps and it is only my opinion from an outside point of view. Sending hugs😊💜

Thanks @Mazarita and @Former-Member

@Former-Member, @eth, @plasmo, @Appleblossom, anyone else around,

Do you have anything on for tomorrow? I think I'm having ro ot canal on a tooth in the morning. I'll find out for sure when I get there (public dental clinic, don't always get clear information on what's going to happen at appointments that are made for me). Not exactly looking forward to it but if it needs to be done, I'm grateful that it will be done.