Night Shift

Yes @Snuchu

You got a good break offending while you did most of your time in juvey and don't have a record now

And it seems to me - that as hard as it is - you are doing your best to make up for your past and get a future - after all - we have no control over the past except give thanks that in this case your offenses were when you were young - and as you said - very unwell at the time

My bro and I had it tough from our mother - somehow I stayed in the light - probably with the love of other adults in my family - but my bro didn't - and he is an alcoholic - and it breaks my heart really

I talked about him with my doctor and about my son too - and maybe because alcohol is easier to get it is much harder getting clean and sober when alcohol is involved

You mentioned that my son had bad luck - yes - he did - something I had not thought about - but my bro didn't have luck like that either - I protected him when we were kids - but the damage was done young

And you are making the most of your chance now - you will get off the smoke in time - with help - I am sure - because you want to -

Being young is not the fun place some older people think it is - I know

Decadian

Hi @eth

I had a much better day today thanks - and I hope you were okay too

My spine - the cause - or one cause - is likely to be the excessive sports of my youth - I would run long distances on concrete paths in cheap shoes - no one told me not to - and warming up and down were unheard of -

Also - my bro and I would ask Dad if we could borrow his binoculars and we went and watched the local cricket team practising - and when they went away we took my bro's kit and practise ourselves - and we were deadly - and all the twisting of my spine doing spin-bowling really does a number on anyone's spine

But it was not until I was in my late forties that this changed - well - the running ended - I fell of my push bike in a wind storm an was admitted to an orthopaedic unit and had stacks of tests including and MRI -

A receint MRI showed it to be damaged from L2/L3 to L5/SI - that is DDD and spinal cord canal stenosis - and yes - as I get older my mobility is affected more and more.

Sometimes it really gets me down - I do have medication - but it can never be enough - but I manage

What I have noticed is that there are other people with pain here - and so I have left the website I was in - no one has chased after me - I guess I can tell when I have been taken for granted but I like this website much more - and I relate to the people I am having several conversations with at the same time

In the last few months I have made some changes in my life that are good and bearing fruit - being in these forums is one of them -

I should send you a pic now I have figured out how

Decadian [hugs too]

The Great Ocean Road from the sky - one of the things on my bucket list is taking a helicopter flight over the Western Coast - it would be fantastic

@Decadian, yes, thanks... I've been improving my life by one baby step after another. I've never had alcohol problems, but I've definitely had drug problems. What do you mean by Canada and the US and you guys being on thin ice? I didn't get that.

@Former-Member, sorry that I haven't been around... I've been depressed and been curling up in bed. Which is what I'm about to do now...

Hi @Snuchu and anyone else around,

About four hours sleep so far tonight. It's now after 4.30am here. Been awake for about 90 minutes without sleeping again so thought I might as well jump on board and say hi from the pre dawn hours.

@Snuchu, sorry you have been feeling depressed. Do you want to talk about it? If not, I hope that curling up on the bed brings some peace and relief from it. When do you get to talk to or see your nurse again?

@Mazarita! How are you?

I don't know, but I have this heavy feeling that I might be about to have a breakdown again, but when I try to sense anything so off I just sense that I'm simply a bit depressed. I hope heading outside will help that as my dad will take me to a town a hour away for a small trip.

I get to talk to my nurse again next Wednesday.

@Snuchu,

Yeah, I'm doing okay at the moment, mate. It's been a good week. 🙂

I guess from past experiences there might always be that anxiety in you that you are about to breakdown again. But, as you are saying to yourself, it may be a bit of depression getting you instead for the time being. Maybe a bit of a let down from your last nurse appointment having to end too soon. It's great that you won't have to wait long before talking to her again. Cool that your dad is taking you on a bit of a trip. I always find getting out of the place helps me, hope you feel way better afterwards.

Great to hear that you had a good week, @Mazarita!

Y'know, this is one of the many reasons I hit the green, just to calm down and erase the anixety.

Anyways, I'm off! Take care, guys.