Night Shift

@Appleblossom, I agree with @Faith-and-Hope, you're totally amazing even though I haven't been on this forum for that long... 🙂

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope

and yes there are lots of people with stories that show their extra - extraordinariness

That is the good side of being in group homes .. you know others have it tough.. it hits you right between the eyes.

Itry to stay optimistic .. about life and human nature ... I have found your posts beautiful and inspiring. @Faith-and-Hope

I just came from med appointment with great young whizzbang consultant .. I am getting further tests .. but he knew that the range of stigmas that I have faced make it hard to get good healthcare .. but finally its happening .. a great relief

Hi @Appleblossom

You are right - I would not lie in court - and as I am a person of the book - I would not swear an oath on the Bible either - and the story is a long one -

It seems as if your brother and my son are rather similar - and de-institutionalization - the system let both of them down - and this is hard to live with - knowing how they suffered

My son loved animals too - more than people he told me - we adotped a cat - and that cat insisted she belonged to him - and got sick and had a stroke when he went to prison - and the vet told us that his being in prison made her more vulnerable

And as for orphanages - did you mean Family Group Homes? My son was is in those but worked his way through 2 or 3 - give or take - more or less - until it was left up to me to find somewhere for him to live and he was not supposed to live with us unless DHS had arranged it

Victms of the System - yes - in some ways - once we touch the System - it touches us -

Hugs

Decadian

No the old fashioned large multiple dorm type places .. I was in 3 different ones and 2 foster homes

My brother was 4 when admitted and 8 when released .. it could have turned out better .. but we were not allowed to talk or process any of our experience as mum took that as a betrayal of her love ... she did her best .. but it was only in HER way .. and it was Her way or the Highway .. so a bit limited... and things got out of whack.

My sister was in care from 2 to 8 .. so even more vulnerable and she was the first to go ... after dad that is.

With the level of grief I have dealt with .. the only thing that matters is to try and make their deaths meaningful .. so I am here .. going blah blah .. but hope it helps others too. I have turned my anger into a fire in the belly .. so to speak. .. but still have to be careful.

I was a teacher pleaser, do gooder, nerd, coper and reasonably successful, and I struggled with the system .. "how many more hoops do yuo want me to jump through sir?"

But it is better than it was ...

I dont mention orphanages to play "the sympathy" card .. thats bull dust.

Bloody Hell .. sympathy doesnt do any good .. but i do like respectful conversations .. thanks to all who have engaged with me.

Apple

Yes @Appleblossom

I know what you are talking about - I realise that you were in orphanages now - what hell that must be

And your mother - her way or the highway and preferably her way - I had a serve of that myself

No way do I see you playing The Sympathy Card - I hope I am not seen that way when I tell my story

I have that fire in my belly too - let their deaths be worth something - if they are martyrs remember -

Martyres cannot be silenced

I forget who said that - but

It can be our role to be a voice for those who have died in sad, lonely and terrible circumstances

And you are doing good work

Decadian

Thanks again @Decadian

I certainly dont think you are playing the sympathy card!

..we cant control how others interpret our posts .. but one poster on the forum recently said it to another on the forum .. about a month ago maybe .. and I am very thorough .. I was offended on the part of the person it was mentioned to ... but there was no point pouring oil on the fire ..I didnt report it .. I just dont react that way .. and that is a consequence of being in orphanages ... "ya dont dob in ya mates" goes very deep with me ... if you know what I mean.

It was weird today in the waiting room at the specialist I had one of my little chatty train type conversations ...

The specialist was thankful in the beginning as it made his area seem friendly and raised the very type of train conversation I have talked about before. At the end of our session .. he said I did good work becasue he had to give the people I spoke to "bad news" and that it would have made a difference to them to have the comforting chat while waiting.

So words may be cheap .. but they are better than a kick up the bum.

So much for my ocker persona

Always lovely to post with you @Decadian

Lovely to chat with you too @Appleblossom

I don't like to dob either - it detracts when you do have to make a complaint

But when it comes to gossips - nothing is louder that a whispering gossip - and once said - it's said - like the spell of the Sorcerer's Apprentice - it gets bigger and bigger

I have found ignoring liars and gossips better in the long run - there is no come back - the less said the better

And people do snipe

About "train type" conversations - doesn't the person beside you become your best friend in that brief time - we tell them whatever and they tell us their stuff and we are in our "yes yes yes - I'm listening" mode and it is so okay we could shout it - and people would join in - and the sun is likely to shine more brightly

I have this at the Pain Clinic - where people are in pain - and sit around obviously uncomfortable physically - but look so gloomy

I hope I don't look like that -

There is a social group and I know some people - and we will start chatting - and then there was a good-looking guy around my own vintage - and he and I were chatting each other up when his carer came and wheeled him away - "Hey - we were talking - hey......."

Obviously the other people waiting had been listening and maybe wanted to have a sneak peak of the next episode

So yes - chat - I have so many stories I could tell about chats like those

Didya hear about......?

The time will come

Decadian - [chatterbox]

Yes I agree .. gossip is very hurtful .. and I always hated it and havent been enough loops to go there ..

One of my lines is that "I could keep all of Melbourne happy for 20 years with the amount of scandal in my family" .. then I dont have to say too much more about where I stand on the gossip issue.

Yeah today at the clinic .. one woman was connecting up with people from diff hospitals etc ... it is better to be cheery than not if you can manage it .. but not if you cant .. thats the authenticity line.

mind you there were quite a few years ... that I could barely string 3-4 words together and make sense speaking or uttering .. thats why I "had" to become a singer .. to even just keep that facility going

I am going to check out

Go gently

@Appleblossom, around here it's called "snitches get stitches"... It's more violent, haha.

My mom's side of family who outcasted me heavily gossips about me too, all badly. It made my own grandma scared of me, when even the law said I was safe now.

Take care. 🙂

@Decadian, honestly, your son sounds like me, by history, only that he had bad luck. I hope you don't take offense to that. I mean it well! 🙂

Good night, guys, I'm heading to bed. And in your time, good morning!