Night Shift

Night F&H Hi Tawney and sadgirl Sadgirl .. it is hard when the tears keep flowing and the household is aware but nobody knows how to handle it. I had about 10 years of fairly frequent uncontrollable bouts of crying ... it might go on for a week before I could manage to get it under control .. I wish I knew what to do for you .. I don't even know what the right response would have been for me. It is what it is .. though. I have a feeing your boys/hub need a reality check about how their little lady is feeling .. do they take you for granted? My computer is on slow so not all the functions work. Thanks Lj I have been trying to sort out my head and my priorities and do a bit more music for me. I played an hour of piano, an hour of recorder and did an hour of singing. This is the kind of routine I am hoping to get into everyday ... as well as a bit of writing and a bit of exercise. Then I figure I am in full time employment ... with the house and food etc. still haven't got oven .. but getting there... it will be great to have roasts again! Lj What is the best structure that you think you could put in place to keep you forward looking. Eg ...eventually I joined an opera chorus ...cos the times fitted the access times .. and recently started recorder.

Appleblossom, I'm a muso too, well i was, can play piano, guitar, piano, flute & vocals, BUT stopped for so long, singing makes me cry, and the joy & concentration just isn't there for instruments. How do you do it with MI? It would be good to use my gifts again 🎶

hoot hoot

@Former-Member. I just had a thought too. When the kids were younger and would go to see there dad I had a tradition that I kept up. I would get Thai takeaway and go to a friends house and sit in her spa (winter too) and have a drink and relax. She always knew that was the deal. I know it's different for you but thinking of something that would be nice that you could make a tradition so you take the pressure of yourself when the kids are not there might be helpful. Even if it's just for the first few hours which is what mine was it helped. By the time they were hormonal teenagers I craved having that time to myself but it was always two weeks or more which was such a long time. Not sure if this helps. It definately sucks though💜

Fair enough lj ... what about an online course .. not for work ... but just for the heck of it ... travel .. another language ... any lingering ... I would have done that ... but ... Tawney. That's fantastic .. you have a lot of skills and using them would probably increase your quality of life greatly. My motivation is up and down like a yoyo .. but being in a choirs keeps that part of things regular. I used to be an organist .. but don't do that anymore. For a long time I could not sing in church .. I stood up to the microphone once and was inundated with a sudden rush of tears .. felt embarrassed .. let it go then got back to it later in another church .. I have been there for about 7-8 years ... with a bigger choir .. so I didn't feel I had to carry it musically and be so exposed ... I could lean on others when I wasn't 100%. .. even so there was a period of a couple of years where I would break out in quiet tears on the sanctuary during the liturgy. I probably would have retreated again except by that stage I had made a friend and she just held my hand .. and I just tried to sing through it and offer it up .. eventually it dried up ... happened about a dozen times though ... I think some people noticed and others didn't have a clue .. its weird .. One of our choristers has just been diagnosed with cancer and the conductor has allowed that she be able to participate even if in a wheelchair ... she has an MA in music and it would be the best thing for her ... I really encourage you to find an outlet Tawney ... you would have so much to give .. and it is very healing .... whether you do it privately .. in a community group or in a liturgy.

Hi @plasmo. Hi @Former-Member.

hi

@Appleblossom. It's really nice that you can share your love of music with your son.

Ok I'm done. My eyes are watering from being over tired. Have a good sleep everyone. 😊💜