Night Shift

Thanks @Former-Member

I have quite a lot to do today but I am feeling heaps better - not the sodden, crumpled zone I was in yesterday - we don't need that

All the best at TAFE - I am sure there is something you can find - there are lots of interesting courses around atm - I am always interested in people getting back to learning - that is a powerful tool to help get on with life

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

Have a great day with your parents - I hope everything works out just fine -

Are they coming to see you for any particular reason?

All the best -

Dec

Thanks @Former-Member

Today is not as overwhelming as yesterday - I don't know when the funeral is yet - but I have sent flowers to my cousin.

It's surprising to me that people don't sent flowers as often as one would imagine - I remember when my son died the house was overflowing with flowers. It all meant so much that so many people cared

And I care about my cousin - I was 16 when she was born and I remember how excited my father was when he came home and announced to his family - us - with two teenagers already - that he was finally an uncle - and it was a wonderful time - I was excited at last to have a cousin - a first cousin

There are so many things I can tell her about little bits of family that I am sure she doesn't know yet - wow - I wanted her as my flower girl and insisted upon it -

How the years pass - how time passes

I am getting to my life in bitznpiezes - not in a hurry to do anything - but it is getting done -

Decadian

Goodluck @Appleblossom

You will be great in that role. I hope you had a nice day

Hi everyone - I guess you know who you are

I am one tired person - after two hours with a new psychologist yesterday I feel exhausted - it was hard work - yes - it always is hard work talking with a psychologist - but worth it

My cousin received the flowers - I am very glad I sent them - I wish some one had been that thoughtful when my mother died -

And the funeral is next Monday - so I have time to go out and get some new clothes - I have to go to the dentist tomorrow so I might get to the shopping mall tomorrow - most of my clothes are casual - or they have lost the pristine look we deserve to have when we attend an important event

When I was talking to the psychologist I realised that my other uncle is failing fast - I think he is coming to the funeral - it has been delayed for his health I believe - and I am aware that it might be the last time I see him - and this uncle has been there in my life all my life - from when I was a baby and he felt he had a responsiblilty now he was an uncle - even though he was just a boy - and the link between us through the years has been one of visits and holidays, phonecalls, letters, card, parcels, emails and all of this unbroken through decades - all my life - most of his

There is no need to offer suggestions about what I should do about this uncle - I will work that out after the funeral - probably I will write him a letter to let him know just how much I have appreciated what he has done for me - aware at the same time that I have been there for him too - for both of us have lost our first child to suicide - and when my cousin died I stepped briefly into the place of comforter - for I knew already only to well how hard it is to lose a child to suicide - such a painful thing

So I am exhausted and feel lost and not really able to help anyone right now - I don't feel I can get into the swing of the messages right now - and I know this is okay.

Yeah but - things do happen - earlier this afternoon I decided to walk over to rivers and see what they had that might be useful clothing-wise - and a man stepped from behind a tree (suddenly) and asked me how I was - and I was startled - having been embedded in my own thoughts - so I asked him who he was and what he was doing - he was one of those Energy people - the ones that are so interested in our carbon footprint - and his colleague came out of a house and there was some discussion - I told them that if someone startles me I feel entitled to ask them who they are and what they were doing.

We need to feel free to challenge people like that - in daylight when we know the people in the houses in the street where we live - but that was the end of my walk - I posted my letter and came home again - feeling rather strange - it's not a good idea for me to walk around with my head on another planet

So I felt unnerved and this did not help the fatigue I am feeling

I will be around - I have definitely added some likes - and maybe I will add my thoughts - it's amazing how fast the threads move in a few hours even

Back later

Decadian

Keep looking after yourself @Decadian, we're here when you feel like chatting and at the same time I'm glad you know that you don't have to keep up with all the messages

Thanks @Shimmer

This is such a good website - so safe too - and I appreciate your message - I don't have to keep up with all the posts - after all I have told other people this -

When I can chat I will - indeed - I have - getting into emoticons and some pics I have saved for messages here

Decadian

Thanks @utopia

Dec

Hello @Kate70, @Neb and @eth

how are you going ??

been thinking of you today , hope everything is ok xx