Night Shift

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I think you were keeping your situation very quiet at first @Former-Member .... but you have a beautiful sunny nature around the emotional deregulation .... and that has been clear from when you joined.

The time in between has been a journey .... taking steps to give up some of the crutches you had been stuck on .... and then having to try to stabilise without them ....

For me it is a bit hard to tell if you are having more or fewer struggle days .... but you have definitely come a long way in these last two months ❣

You are working things out @Former-Member .... and I think progressively reconnecting with your emotions .... but it will be up and down as you go, just progressively more controlled waves, and lower peaks and troughs ....

I reckon @Former-Member is more familiar with what you are experiencing and will know better what you are wanting to understand.

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I hope this has helped you tho .... you are highly articulate all the time ....

Yeah but it helps if you have enough to have a conversation @TAB. It's getting harder in the real world for me. My friend is very quick witted and much of our friendship was based on witty banter ( she beats me hands down) but I struggle to think of anything to say these days and when I do it's serious. I try but I'm afraid it's really tough going some days. We have been friends for 32 years, I get scared that I'll bore her to death these days. Sorry good at doing the downer thing today. Will try to be more positive tomorrow. Sometimes it gets hard when you can't be the person you once were. Whinge over.

Saw you weren't a foo fighters fan @TAB.I like ’these days' and quite a few foo fighters songs @Former-Member

Good night @utopia i hope you get a healing sleep😴💤 chat tomorrow 💜😊

@Former-Member .... we all have different days, different moods, different stages ..... it's okay to not be witty or playful all the time .... be patient with yourself Hon ....

Your girlfriend sounds wonderful .... but maybe being playful and witty is her way of trying to support you and keep you happy ? It's a lovely gift she is offering, if that's the case .... but between the two of you you will gradually work out that being serious doesn't have to equate with losing control .... you have started to say sometimes that you're feeling low, but safe .... and others on the forum do that too ....

From where you have been coming from, that sounds like almighty progress to me ❣

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Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. I am grateful for your input with that question. I guess how I'm feeling is kind of what you wrote. I feel more out of control than ever before in some ways and more in control than ever before in others. I do realise I'm overthinking this but I guess I feel like I'm at cross roads at the moment. I hope you get a good rest tonight for another big week coming up. 💜😊

She is a wonderful friend @Faith-and-Hope. I am very lucky to have her around. Our friendship has always been based on fun. I guess I get scared now that I'll lose her because I've changed so much. It's also the extra heightened fear of abandonment I guess which has been triggered a bit lately. My therapist has been copping it a lot lately from me too. Every time I fall backwards I get scared she'll leave too and I guess I've been feeling that with my friend, that she can't put up with this forever. I did have it out a bit with my therapist via messaging yesterday. I guess this is my cross to bear. Thanks for being here. 💜😊

Please try not to be hard on yourself @Former-Member if you have known each other for that long you probably weren't witty for the whole 32 years they'll understand. And, you just reminded me ..I've done similar things over the last few years, re thinking brain doesn't work anymore ..maybe it's a matter of learning to relax so brain can do what it's used to doing. Well it is for me anyway, it's probably through weight of self expections and isolation. It will happen. Anyway you sound like a good person. Sure there are other things they like about you as well

Thanks @TAB💜😊😘 I was getting scared I'd chased everyone away from this thread. I think sometimes I have a habit of doing that when I have stuff on my brain 🤔😳. I hope all goes well for your appointments on Monday and your tooth behaves. I had an infection in my tooth once and my face became really swollen, I looked like princess Fiona from shrek. It took about a week to get over it. Thanks for the support💜😊